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Have a Hankering For Peeno Pinot Noir? Kimmy Schmidt‘s Tituss Burgess Has You Covered

Tituss Burgess has announced via his Instagram that we'll be able to enjoy an actual pinot noir called Pinot by Tituss!

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Monday Cute: Zen-As-Fuck Cats Wearing Wine Glasses on Their Heads

Yes. Good.

I trust this speaks for itself.

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With the Game of Thrones-Themed “Wines of Westeros,” We Can All Be Drunk Cersei

It's everything we've ever dreamed of.

There's Game of Thrones-themed beer and there are Game of Thrones-inspired cocktails, but what about some drink for the more refined and authentic Westerosi palette? Soon there'll be plenty for the alcoholic Lannister matriarch in all of us. More wine, peasants!

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Learn How To Make Whiskey Bongs With Tim Shaw, Star of Nat Geo’s None Of The Above

Unless you're Ron Swanson, in which case, "this is the wrong way to consume alcohol."

Man, who even drinks alcohol anymore? Boring, right? Tim Shaw from National Geographic Channel's None Of The Above prefers to use the stuff in cool science experiments, and he stopped by the Swift Hibernian Lounge in the Lower East Side to show us some of his favorites that you can try your yourself at home.

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Shut the Front Door, Starbucks To Sell Alcohol Across The US

Everyone prepare your ridiculously elaborate drink order now.

Four Loko may be banned, but a strategically covered mermaid is ready to fill the nation's caffeine and alcohol void. Starbucks has announced they will start selling beer and wine across the US as part of an ongoing attempt to fulfill America's every beverage desire.

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(Non-Alcoholic) Wine For Cats Is Now An Actual Thing You Can Buy

Because there wasn't enough of a monkey on their backs already with all that catnip we give 'em.

After a long, stressful day of sleeping on various surfaces of your home, your cat just wants to relax and unwind. But what's a stressed-out feline to do when water our of a bowl on the ground just won't cut it? Open up a bottle of Nyan Nyan Neoveau wine, of course.

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Snake Bites Woman 3 Months After She Bottled It in Wine

Maybe don't put live snakes in wine bottles?

A woman in northern China surnamed Liu was attacked by a snake. Why am I telling you this? Because that snake had been soaking in a closed wine bottle for three months before it struck Liu. She had been making snake wine, which I guess is a thing, and when she went to add more alcohol the snake made its move. This is not the first of these attacks.

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We Might Not Need Chemistry-Inspired Glassware, But We Sure Do Want Chemistry-Inspired Glassware

You can just order beakers from a laboratory supply store and drink from those, but these are classier.

Remember in high school chemistry class when your teacher repeatedly stressed in no uncertain terms that you shouldn't drink from the beakers, but how you really, really wanted to? Well now you can! Or at least that's what designer Marshall Jamshidi is hoping to make happen. He has a Kickstarter up for his set of scientifically inspired glassware called Periodic TableWare, and we now pine for it -- or whatever the scientific version of pining for something is.

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5 Billion Second Rule: Mint Condition Roman Shipwreck Could Hide Delicious, 2,000-Year-Old Leftovers

An astonishingly well-preserved Roman shipwreck has been discovered just 18 miles off the coast of Italy, and like any decent cruise ship, it comes equipped with its own buffet. Researchers and divers have recovered several vessels that contained foodstuffs like grain, wine, and pickled fish. Because the ship has been so immaculately kept, researchers believe the wreck, which was found using a remote-operated vehicle, also contains intact amphorae. These Iron Age Tupperware containers have proven surprisingly durable in similar wrecks, leaving the dive team hopeful that containers pulled from the wreck will still house all the refreshment one needs for a well-rounded 2-millennia-old meal that would probably kill you.

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French Cows Down Two Bottles of Wine a Day, Not Asked for ID

Basing their decision on studies showing that happy animals produce meat that has a better tasteLanguedoc-Roussillon winemaker Jean-Charles Tastavy partnered with farmer Claude Chaballier to experiment. Originally, they fed the cows the remainders of pressed grapes combined with water but have since moved on to straight up giving them wine. Somewhat impressively, each cow imbibes up to two bottles per day.

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6-Foot, Half-Ton Wine Rack Mech for Sale on Craigslist

You probably wouldn't imagine that many wine connoisseurs are particularly interested in Transformer-style mech robots, but for the one or two out there who are, a very unique and uniquely awesome wine rack is on the market. As much art installation as wine rack, the WineMech stands six feet tall and is a one-of-a-kind and custom-welded out of a massive collection of used transmission parts from a veritable army of automobiles. Each piece has been meticulously cleaned to insure the removal of all corrosive meaterials, painted gunmetal grey, and clear-coated. In addition to being able to hold approximately 32 bottles of wine, this bad boy is also out-fitted with a bunch of LEDs because why not?

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Meteorito is Wine with a 4.5 Billion Year Old Meteor In It

They say a fine wine gets better with age. If so, it'll probably also get better if you just throw a 4.5 billion year old meteorite in there as well, right? That might be up for debate, but that hasn't stopped Ian Hutcheon from doing exactly that to produce his space-tastic wine Meteorito: "The wine that's made with a really old rock in it." I'm not sure that's the official Meteorito tagline, but it might as well be.

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Car Fueled by Chocolate, Cheese and Wine, Sort Of

In what seems to be a slap in the face towards fossil fuels, the Exige 270E Tri-fuel sports car runs on three things: chocolate, cheese, and wine. As catchy as that is, it's actually a somewhat deceptive marketing ploy. This sexy looking car designed by Lotus Engineering actually runs on ethanol, technically, but it derives that ethanol from the aforementioned products and can use that ethanol to go from 0-60 in under 4 seconds.

So it runs on chocolate, cheese, and wine in the same way that your normal car runs on dead dinosaurs. Still, it makes for an interesting angle on ethanol and the myriad ways to produce it that don't involve, you know, boring into the earth and robbing her of both her innocence and natural beauty. In regard to these three products, ethanol is typically made from whey, from the cheese-making process; surplus chocolate (as if); and low-grade wine. Still, I prefer to use those things to fuel my body, but maybe that's just me.

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In France, You Can Pump Your Own Wine by the Liter, Gas Station-Style

When Pennsylvania introduced by-the-bottle wine vending machines, it caused quite a stir in the States, but as ever in matters oenological, France is far ahead of us: Some French supermarkets have gas station-like wine pumps. You bring a jug, water bottle, or what have you to the store and fill it up with red, white, or rosé, print out a receipt, and then pay prices as low as $2 a liter, or roughly $8 a gallon, for your bounty. Considering that the standard wine bottle holds 750 milliliters (for the metric illiterate, that's three-quarters of a liter), you get a lot of bang for your Euro. And did we mention it's environmentally friendly?

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