(Non-Alcoholic) Wine For Cats Is Now An Actual Thing You Can Buy

Because there wasn't enough of a monkey on their backs already with all that catnip we give 'em.

Recommended Videos

After a long, stressful day of sleeping on various surfaces of your home, your cat just wants to relax and unwind. But what’s a stressed-out feline to do when water our of a bowl on the ground just won’t cut it? Open up a bottle of wine, of course.

Billed as juice made from a combination of cabernet grapes, vitamin C, and catnip, B&H Life’s Nyan Nyan Neoveau costs about $4 a bottle (Can cats even metabolize grapes?), and was apparently developed for those who want to celebrate holidays such as Christmas and birthdays… with their cat. God, if that isn’t the saddest thing we’ve ever read. Cats are great and all, but they don’t give a shit about your birthday. Go find some real friends to celebrate with.

Don’t get all high-and-mighty, though, dog-lovers! according to Sankei Biz, B&H Life already has a very successful line of wine, beer, and even saké for dogs. Heck, you can even buy dog beer right here in the United States. So you can put away that tired old cat lady stereotype, because unhealthy pet obsessions are unhealthy pet obsessions no matter how you slice ’em.

Of course, B&H Life isn’t the first company in Japan that has created an non-alcoholic version of an alcoholic beverage to sell to someone who has no business drinking it. You guys remember “kids’ beer,” the soft drink that looks exactly like a beer? That’s also a thing. What a time to be alive.

No word on whether or not the company will be creating a white wine version, which, frankly, is baffling. Everybody knows you can’t pair a cabernet with seafood! What are all these cats going to drink with their fish?

(via Geekologie, image via Ash Berlin)

Meanwhile in related links


The Mary Sue is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more
related content
Read Article The 2024 Cicadapocalypse Is Almost Upon Us in Illinois
A cicada. It's a bug.
Read Article TikToker Ms. Rachel Experiences Bullying Over Fundraiser for Children in Conflict Zones
Ms. Rachel for Littles and Jules for Littles on TikTok
Read Article The Nuns of Benedictine College Slam Harrison Butker’s Commencement Speech
Harrison Butker arrives at the Allegiant Stadium before Super Bowl LVIII
Read Article What To Know About Disability Pride Month
Colorful stick figures and disability symbols together on a dark background
Read Article The 14 Best LEGO Star Wars Battle Packs To Make Your Enemies Fear You
Ahsoka Tano fights an Inquisitor in 'Star Wars: Tales of the Jedi'
Related Content
Read Article The 2024 Cicadapocalypse Is Almost Upon Us in Illinois
A cicada. It's a bug.
Read Article TikToker Ms. Rachel Experiences Bullying Over Fundraiser for Children in Conflict Zones
Ms. Rachel for Littles and Jules for Littles on TikTok
Read Article The Nuns of Benedictine College Slam Harrison Butker’s Commencement Speech
Harrison Butker arrives at the Allegiant Stadium before Super Bowl LVIII
Read Article What To Know About Disability Pride Month
Colorful stick figures and disability symbols together on a dark background
Read Article The 14 Best LEGO Star Wars Battle Packs To Make Your Enemies Fear You
Ahsoka Tano fights an Inquisitor in 'Star Wars: Tales of the Jedi'