Barefoot’s Oreo Thins Wine Sold Out Immediately for Obvious Reasons
Junk food is drunk food.
As 2021 stumbles towards the finish line, we toast to the end of another deeply insufferable year. Last year’s horror show gave us the DEW Garita, a Mountain Dew/margarita hybrid beverage you could drown your sorrows in, courtesy of Red Lobster. This summer gave us Flamin’ Hot Mountain Dew, directly on loan from Dante’s circles of Hell.
Joining these two beverages is the latest entry into the WTF Am I Drinking? discourse: Barefoot x Oreo Thins Red Blend Wine.
IT’S HERE! For a limited time, try our rich Barefoot x @OREO THINS Red Blend for a treat that’ll send your taste buds into fits of chocolate-y delight! Tag a friend who needs to try it, and order now: https://t.co/rMeeYfZB5B pic.twitter.com/lEPkP06xd1
— barefootwine (@BarefootWine) December 9, 2021
At long last, someone has taken the wine you grab at 7-11 on the way to a house party and mashed it up with the thinner, less satisfying version of the sandwich cookie we love. I have many questions, the first of which is, I guess, why? Follow that with “What did we, humanity, do to deserve this cursed libation?”
“Everyone knows that red wine pairs well with chocolate, but Oreo Thins and America’s most loved wine, Barefoot Wine, are collaborating to take this classic combination to a whole new delicious level,” said Oreo brand manager Sydney Kranzmann. “Oreo Thins cookies have always been the perfect Oreo cookie for adults — so we are excited to showcase a new grown-up pairing.”
It’s an off-the-wall choice, to be sure, given that Oreos already have a designated drink pairing: milk. And why is it Oreo Thins and not Oreos? Are Oreo Thins geared towards an older, sophisticated audience I’m unaware of? Have I been living like a fool, eating Double Stuf Oreos like a goddamn youth while my contemporaries mock my blood sugar levels behind my back?
The wine features “aromas of chocolate and tasting notes that include more chocolate, cookies and crème, and oak, along with the natural flavors of blackberry and dark cherries.” Barefoot winemaker Jen Wall said, “We had such a great time exploring the different flavor combinations, ultimately pairing the signature flavors of Oreo Thins cookies with a blend of our bright, berry-flavored red wine.”
So this wine is really supposed to be paired with Oreo Thins? I personally prefer to blend Oreos with marijuana and a yawning chasm of despair, but to each their own. The wine, which is available exclusively on Barefoot’s website, has already sold out. And would-be customers are already pissed.
This was a cute idea, @BarefootWine, but it’s embarrassing that the customers you sold the idea to can’t actually buy the product.
I emptied my cart and I won’t be back. I’ll buy my @Oreo Thins and wine separately as I always have. pic.twitter.com/iHocrjMcmI
— Eric (@ericlondergan) December 9, 2021
I haven’t seen this much online shopping-inspired anguish since Crocs sold out of those adult Lightning McQueen clogs.
But like the pink Kraft Mac & Cheese before it, this Oreo wine is too absurd to fail. After all, who isn’t going to at least try it? That is, if they can get their hands on a bottle.
Would you drink Oreo wine? Let us know in the comments!
(via Food & Wine Magazine, image: Barefoot Wines/Oreo)
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