barefoot wine debuts its collaboration with Oreo Thins

Barefoot’s Oreo Thins Wine Sold Out Immediately for Obvious Reasons

Junk food is drunk food.

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As 2021 stumbles towards the finish line, we toast to the end of another deeply insufferable year. Last year’s horror show gave us the DEW Garita, a Mountain Dew/margarita hybrid beverage you could drown your sorrows in, courtesy of Red Lobster. This summer gave us Flamin’ Hot Mountain Dew, directly on loan from Dante’s circles of Hell.

Joining these two beverages is the latest entry into the WTF Am I Drinking? discourse: Barefoot x Oreo Thins Red Blend Wine.

At long last, someone has taken the wine you grab at 7-11 on the way to a house party and mashed it up with the thinner, less satisfying version of the sandwich cookie we love. I have many questions, the first of which is, I guess, why? Follow that with “What did we, humanity, do to deserve this cursed libation?”

“Everyone knows that red wine pairs well with chocolate, but Oreo Thins and America’s most loved wine, Barefoot Wine, are collaborating to take this classic combination to a whole new delicious level,” said Oreo brand manager Sydney Kranzmann. “Oreo Thins cookies have always been the perfect Oreo cookie for adults — so we are excited to showcase a new grown-up pairing.”

It’s an off-the-wall choice, to be sure, given that Oreos already have a designated drink pairing: milk. And why is it Oreo Thins and not Oreos? Are Oreo Thins geared towards an older, sophisticated audience I’m unaware of? Have I been living like a fool, eating Double Stuf Oreos like a goddamn youth while my contemporaries mock my blood sugar levels behind my back?

Steve Buscemi says "How do you do, fellow kids?" while poorly dressed as a youth.

(My ancient ass eating regular Oreos)

The wine features “aromas of chocolate and tasting notes that include more chocolate, cookies and crème, and oak, along with the natural flavors of blackberry and dark cherries.” Barefoot winemaker Jen Wall said, “We had such a great time exploring the different flavor combinations, ultimately pairing the signature flavors of Oreo Thins cookies with a blend of our bright, berry-flavored red wine.”

So this wine is really supposed to be paired with Oreo Thins? I personally prefer to blend Oreos with marijuana and a yawning chasm of despair, but to each their own. The wine, which is available exclusively on Barefoot’s website, has already sold out. And would-be customers are already pissed.

I haven’t seen this much online shopping-inspired anguish since Crocs sold out of those adult Lightning McQueen clogs.

But like the pink Kraft Mac & Cheese before it, this Oreo wine is too absurd to fail. After all, who isn’t going to at least try it? That is, if they can get their hands on a bottle.

Would you drink Oreo wine? Let us know in the comments!

(via Food & Wine Magazine, image: Barefoot Wines/Oreo)

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Author
Chelsea Steiner
Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.