The amount of erotic fiction written about vampires, elves, and mermaids could probably fill up every library in the world, but has anyone ever thought to offer one of these poor souls a tampon? Because I did. Come, speculate wildly with me!

Greetings, alternate universe friends! We're taking a break from our time in the office Dreamatorium to bring you another recap of Community's sixth season from the brightest timeline, where the show was never canceled. Enjoy! Even here in the brightest timeline things can get a little sad sometimes. This episode hit us right in the feels, you guys.

If you're an early twenty-something Internet user with a fair grasp of HTML and an unusual penchant for omelets, odds are you picked up both of those traits from playing Neopets at some point in your life. First launched in 1999, the site was kind of like a beefed up version of Pokémon: you got your own virtual pets and an entire world to explore with them. Fifteen years later, the game is still chugging along—and it's become a lot more complicated than any ten year old could imagine.

I'm going to assume that most people, what with their IQs ranging anywhere from 125-134, have figured out that the IQ test that's been going around on Facebook lately isn't more accurate than the "What Disney Character Are You?" or "Which Friends Character Should You Marry?" quizzes they've found on the ol' social network. Since we're not all actually undiscovered geniuses, here's the difference between your online quickie IQ test and a real one and how IQ scores actually work.

A friend told me a story the other day. He was discussing reboots with his wife, explaining how he doesn't like them on principle. Until his wife had the gall to point out: "Wait, honey... you love Battlestar Galactica."

I might die some day. I know. I'm bummed too. Hopefully not anytime soon, but I started thinking about my post-death options recently after a relative's funeral. While "never die ever" is still at the top of my list, I've decided that donating my body to science should be my alternative. It's not like I'm going to be doing anything with it after I'm dead. I might as well help science.

For the last two months, I've been kind of stuck in my house due to a stress fracture. While I'm nursing the broken foot that's kept me from doing a whole host of things I would rather be doing with my summer, I am playing Xbox and watching a lot of Netflix. This has brought me to a rare first in my long TV-watching career: I'm hate-watching my first show, and I kind of love it.

Books are rarely written about a single video game. There have been many written about fictional video games, or takes on gaming culture in general, but texts devoted to one particular game are few and far between. Bob Chipman, or MovieBob, is known on the Internet for his critical analyses on films and games alike. So it’s only fitting that he attempted this very thing with his new book, Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick by Brick. But does it work?

The Internet has been following a YouTube series that started out as a pronunciation guide, became a slightly weirder pronunciation guide, and went off the rails two weeks ago and started a portentous countdown. Theories have been springing up, but any evidence you derive from interpreting Bob Dylan lyrics isn't exactly reliable. What if they're entirely off the mark?

Imagine seeing something you thought of when you were five become a mainstream animated series. That's the world Malachai Nicolle lives in. He co-created the webcomic Axe Cop with his older brother Ethan at that age, and Axe Cop the series premiered on Fox this past weekend. I went into the premiere with high hopes, and the show did not disappoint.

J.M. Sidorova's first novel, The Age of Ice, is not what I anticipate from epic fantasy, nor is it for everyone. In fact it seems to be the latest classical Russian novel: A story of Russian history told through the eyes of a strange hero, his unique conception and corresponding condition the main mark of "fantasy" found within. While it spans wars and ages and loves, The Age of Ice is not an adventure story.

There's a new movement gaining steam in England to officially pardon British cryptographer and godfather of modern computer science Alan Turing, and it appears likely that this one will finally end in a formal pardon. Now, ordinarily, we'd be all for that, but for one fact. If Turing is issued an official pardon, it will be for the wrong reasons, and runs the risk of ignoring why he actually deserves an apology from his government -- and why many other Britons who were similarly affected by a bad law deserve the same.

As you may or may not be aware, Digg founder Kevin Rose made waves on the Internet over the past couple days by posting a security video where, in an effort to save his dog Toaster, he tossed a raccoon down a flight of stairs. Part of this interest comes from the inevitable group calling his actions "animal abuse," but the other segment of viewers are surely tuning in simply because, well, it's Rose tossing a raccoon. It's with this in mind that we present a polite discussion on how to properly throw a raccoon.

How many times have you complained with something along the lines of, "How did Character A survive that gaping chest wound, or get from Point A to Point B so fast, or figure out the mystery with no clues?" And how many times have you gotten the response, "You're expecting realism from a book/show/movie with dragons/time travel/vampires?" Clearly, that's too easy a comeback. It can be used to dismiss virtually any complaint about a work, and yet you somehow have to answer it. Why are you okay with a story about time-traveling vampire dragons -- my idea, don't steal it! -- but bothered by relatively minor elements in the story? The answer is that rather than coming from a desire to nitpick the story to death, our reaction is natural, and it's no big deal if we have multiple types of 'realism' in our fiction.

This morning in California, nearly 30,000 inmates in prisons throughout the state's penitentiary system entered the second day of an apparent hunger strike. While the beginning of Ramadan -- during which Muslim prisoners do not take meals during daylight hours -- has complicated an exact count, it's becoming clear that thousands of the prisoners who refused meals yesterday did so not out of religious obligation, but in solidarity with prisoners at the Pelican Bay State Prison who are protesting what they call abusive policies that can find prisoners suspected of gang ties locked in solitary confinement for decades at a time. While this isn't an official hunger strike yet -- the state's policy is not to deem a prisoner on hunger strike until he or she has missed 9 meals -- this looks a lot like the beginning of the largest one seen in America in some time. With that in mind, we bring you this primer on what happens to the body during a hunger strike. Just a warning: It's not pretty.

Kickstarter has been host to a number of very promising games that Internet denizens have been avidly supporting. A handful of recent video games that have attempted Kickstarter campaigns are claymation adventure Armikrog, cel-shaded platformer A Hat in Time, and Eternal Darkness successor Shadow of the Eternals. While the games look shiny and exciting, the men behind them each have histories of extremely unethical, at worst, to shady, at best, behavior. If pop culture personalities like Paula Deen are getting heat for their ideals and actions, then why does it seem like game developers are exempt? Should they be? And furthermore, is it morally acceptable to buy one of their games?

It's difficult to describe how deeply affected you can be by the passing of someone you've never actually met. It can even be embarrassing to explain to other people who maybe don't get this whole Internet thing. Screw all that. Ryan Davis was a big part of my life, and I'd venture to guess maybe yours as well, now he's gone, and goddammit I'm crying about it. It's okay if you do too.