Jared Ettinger, Author at The Mary Sue

Jared Ettinger

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Terminators Getting New Video Game, Probably Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

Does it feel like the early 90s in here to anyone else? It should, because you're getting a brand new video game based on the first two films in the storied Terminator franchise. Publisher Reef Entertainment has just bought the Terminator game rights from StudioCanal, and have a game based on the first two movies in development right now.

General Mills Resurrecting Fruit Brute, Yummy Mummy This Halloween

All five of General Mills' classic monster cereals are returning! Resurrections of Count Chocula, Boo Berry, and Frankenberry have become a regular Halloween thing, this is the first time in decades that Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy will be back on store shelves for children of all ages to enjoy.

Face Your Nightmares in Sonic Lost World’s Special Edition

Remember NiGHTS Into Dreams on Sega Saturn? The surreal flight game has a cult following to this day, but hasn't seen much action as a series. But SEGA is about to whet the appetites of NiGHTS fans with the limited release Deadly Six Edition of Sonic Lost World. It's the special edition of your dreams.

Samurai Jack Back From The Past in New Comic Series

In 2004, the beloved Cartoon Network series Samurai Jack was abruptly cancelled. The time traveling hero was never able to return to his own era and square down with nemesis Aku, leaving the series sadly unresolved. But his saga is finally set to continue in a comic series published by IDW that gives us the fifth season we always wanted.

PSA: Buy Call of Duty: Ghosts on PS3, Get it for $10 on PS4

Remember how Sony CEO Andy House said yesterday that purchasing select PS3 games will allow you to buy them again on PS4 for a significantly discounted price? Well, we've just learned the specifics on that deal for one such game-- Call of Duty Ghosts. If you buy it at retail price on PS3, you'll be able to get it on PS4 for a mere $10.

Mike Tyson Finally Beats Glass Joe in Punch Out!!, Humanity Redeemed

Anyone who's played the Nintendo classic Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! knows two things-- that your first opponent, Glass Joe, is a total pushover, and that the bout with Iron Mike himself is legendarily hard. That's why it's so surprising to us that it apparently took Tyson 26 years to sit down at a NES and give Joe the pummeling he so richly deserves.

Missed Out on Xbox One and PS4 Preorders? Walmart’s Giving You a Second Chance

Those Xbox One and PS4 preorders went by pretty fast, huh? If you overslept the day that retailers put them out, then good news: Walmart's going to have a new stock of preorders available August 24, which is this Saturday. So maybe South Park was wrong and Walmart's not that evil after all.

Woman Swallows Tapeworm, Doctors Marvel at Her Stupidity

We've all heard the old urban legend about eating a tapeworm as an awful dietary aid. Well, it turns out, that this sort of idiotic behavior isn't just for grotesque old wives' tales anymore. An unnamed Iowa woman is receiving medical treatment after purchasing a tapeworm online and swallowing it because she thought it would help her lose weight.

Presenting the PS4 Presser Proceedings

Today Sony used its Gamescom spotlight to give us a closer look at the PS4. Everything was very exciting, with new games, ports, price drops, and a release date for the PS4. Everything, that is, except the camera. Don't think we didn't see you zooming out half the time, cameraman.

Ready Your Wallet For The Just-Announced Xbox One Launch Lineup

My feelings on the Xbox One have gone from total resentment to excitement in the past couple of months, and the full launch lineup, just revealed at Gamescom, has only given me more reason to want it. The lineup's so special because it has a wide array of exclusives from developers around the world-- they're really throwing everyone an Xbone, huh?