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velociraptors

Hasbro Rewrites Canon for Its Toys, Decides All Jurassic World‘s Dinos Are Dudes

Hold onto your butts intractable gender biases.

I'm not surprised that Hasbro is misgendering Jurassic World's dinos--just disappointed. Sexism, uh, finds a way.

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Zookeepers Are Recreating Chris Pratt’s Jurassic World Raptor Training With Non-Extinct Animals

I don't think it's presumptuous of me to say Chris Pratt and his Raptor Gang (as one entity) are the real stars of Jurassic World. But some fun-loving zookeepers may just be stealing their thunder.

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Cats and Velociraptors Are Basically the Same Pet

Other similarities include cute noises, big appetites, and accidentally clawing your arm off.

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Today We Learned: Jurassic Park Raptors Make Noises Not Unlike Tortoises Having Sex

Next time you watch, I hope you have this mental image in your head.

I say "not unlike" because it is. It is the noise tortoises make when having sex. It is exactly that noise.

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Don’t Worry About Great White Sharks, Jurassic World’s Director Talks Feeding Time & Raptor Gangs

Hang in there.

NOM NOM NOM.

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But What If We Replaced Jurassic Park’s Velociraptors With Cats?

Clever girl.

Jurassic Park is a great movie, but it's not without its problems. One of those problems, of course, is a lack of cats. Don't worry, the Internet is here to fix that oversight, and now you can see just how terrifying it would be to get stalked by a giant cat. You'd better work on your hacking skills to get those door locks working.

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Spare No Expense With the Raptor Cage From Jurassic Park, Now on eBay for Over $99,900

Shoot her! SHOOT HER!

Hey, hey, hey! *Throws flare.* Yeah, I know you're not a T-Rex, but I thought that would be a good way to draw your attention to the fact that you can buy the velociraptor cage prop from Jurassic Park on eBay. Now you'll have a convenient place to store your "six foot turkey" for (mildly) safe transport to the theme park of your choice.

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Blue Force Gear Wants Velociraptors To Fight For Our Freedom

Sadly, a velociraptor may have been the least threatening thing at Shot Show 2014

If you needed another reason to be baffled by America's military complex and confused by gun culture, this year "Shot Show," the country's largest annual gun convention, featured an appearance by a velociraptor named Terry Clausen.

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My Little Raptor: Friendship is Clever

i'll just leave this here

I can think of several improvements that being deinonychus would deliver to pony society. For one, folks other than unicorns would be able to turn doorknobs and pick up pencils. Of course, all those pegasus would have to come down from the sky, but certainly that's a small price to pay for two razor sharp disemboweling claws. The real question is, can Spike be a hypothetical placental mammal ancestor?

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Clever Girl: Velociraptors Are Taking Over The British Vogue Website

Clever Girl

Type the Konami Code in on the homepage of the British Vogue website, trust me.  You will not be disappointed.  When you do, you can see an array of very fashionable velociraptors in a variety of hats, that an unknown genius has arranged to slide across the webpage in response to the videogame cheat code.  I like to think of them as the residents of Jurassic Park Avenue, strolling around in wonderfully coordinated ensembles, photo-bombing unsuspecting models, and gnawing on intestines.  Head past the jump for more screenshots from the British Vogue website.

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Today In Ridiculous Drinking: Velociraptor vs. Shark Whisky

Clever Girl

I'm not a whiskey drinker but if I were, this is the kind I would drink. Says Ben of MasterOfMalt.com of the creation, "Now, for [distillery] Aultmore, I searched high and low, asked all and sundry for interesting stories, facts or legends surrounding the distillery and turned up precisely nothing. So you’ve got this. A Velociraptor fighting a shark." Apparently the design is part of a series of limited edition whiskies with comic book style label art. As for the artist he said, "She's a comic book artist based in Glasgow." If anyone knows her name, let us know, she deserves a high-five. Edit: Success! The artist is Emily Chappell. Her work can be found here. (via Geek Alerts) Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?

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Things We Saw Today: The Velociraptor Flask

Things We Saw Today

Well, if you didn't already have a reason to become a career drunk, here is a very great reason: the flask made from a (porcelain) velociraptor claw. Currently being sold on Etsy, so have at it dino-loving lushes! (via Reddit)

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Watch Tom Hiddleston Talk About His Love Of Jurassic Park And Do A Velociraptor Impression

hold on to your butts

I cannot accurately describe what this video is doing to me. All I'll say is if you like Thor/The Avenger's Tom Hiddleston, you'll love him after this. And if you love him already well, I apologize in advance. Watch, if you dare, as the actor talks about when he first saw Jurassic Park, how "real" dinosaurs are so much cooler, and...hear his raptor impersonation. (via Dance With Zombies)

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This Is What Batman Looks Like Fighting A Dinosaur

hold on to your butts

Artist Jesse Farrell admits his dinosaur sculpture is more like a deinonycus than a velociraptor. Honestly, we couldn't care less what the exact type was - Batman is fighting a dinosaur! 

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Things We Saw Today: Tom Hiddleston Gets A Drawing Of Loki

Things We Saw Today

This is a screen capture from Gingerhaze's (Noelle Stevenson) tumblr of a screen capture she took from The Avenger's actor Tom Hiddleston's twitter. Someone gave him one of her Loki illustrations. Take note of what she typed under the photo. Yup, that about says it all. Actually, she later posted, "how am i supposed to do anything ever again." THAT says it all.

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Things We Saw Today: The Velocirapture Didn’t Happen

Things We Saw Today

Of course, this isn't supposed to happen until exactly 6:00 PM Eastern Time (according to just one totally reliable source), so we'll just have to wait and see. (At Reddit)

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There Will Be… D-Dinosaurs? In, Uh, Your Jurassic Park Comic?

To the joy of every fan who's still sort of hoping for a Jurassic Park IV (10 years ago I heard there was going to be a Velociraptor/motorcycle chase and have clung to the idea ever since) IDW Publishing has announced that they will have a new Jurassic Park based series starting up in June. The title is Jurassic Park: Redemption, and I can't decide if that's more awesome than it is hilarious, or more hilarious than it is awesome.

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