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British Medical Journal

Children’s Movies Are Filled With Death, Study Confirms


In case you hadn't noticed, children's movies have, like, a lot of death. Bambi's mom, Elsa and Anna's parents, Cinderella's parents, that whole Lion King situation — it's just everywhere. A new study by the British Medical Journal has been kind enough to confirm this.

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British Medical Journal Study Reveals That Men Are Great… At Being Stupid

Most days I'm just happy we're not extinct. Yet.

A study from the British Medical Journal's often humorous Christmas Edition has determined that men are basically walking time bombs of stupidity. How did they make this leap of scientific understanding on par with discovering that the sky is blue, you ask? They analyzed the winners of the Darwin awards.

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Study Finds Nearly 1% of American Mothers Claim to be Virgins

Yeah, like we haven't heard that one before.

A study recently published in the British Medical Journal says that nearly 1% of American mothers claim to be virgins even after giving birth. As far as we know, no major religions have formed around any of the claimed virgin births.

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Training Dogs To Sniff Out Bacteria In Hospitals

This is Cliff. He's a two-year-old beagle who could become hospitals' newest, cutest weapon against infections by the bacterium Clostridium difficille. Hospitals around the world are rife with contagious C. diff infections, which kill thousands and sicken many more every year, raising health care costs, increasing the length of hospital stays, and, most tragically, costing lives. Cliff's highly sensitive nose, though, allows him to sniff out traces of the bacteria in patients' stool samples faster than traditional lab techniques can. In time, an army of dogs like Cliff could improve hospitals' ability to find C. diff infected patients and prevent them from spreading the disease to others while simultaneously making hospitals measurably more adorable than they are right now. You can see the world's first bacteria sniffing canine in action below.

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Here We Go Again: 15-Year Study Shows No Link Between Cancer and Cellphones

The debate about whether cellphones cause cancer has gone back and forth as conflicting studies are released on the topic. Indeed, things looked decidedly grim when the World Health Organization declared that the matter warranted further investigation. Now, a massive Danish study encompassing hundreds of thousands of subjects over 15 years has found no link between mobile phones and instances of cancer. The study used the medical records of some 360,000 cellphone-using Danes over the course of 15 years -- roughly the point when cellphones were introduced to Denmark. The researchers compared this group's incidence of cancer against the medical records of millions in a control-group. The study found no observable link between cancer and cellphone use. The study has been published on the website of the British Medical Journal.

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Medical Journal Recommends Headbangers Use Protective Headgear, Switch to Celine Dion

By definition, headbangers might not be the most cautious and health-conscious of crowds, and the British Medical Journal has outlined a set of precautions that it recommends they take to tamp down the head, neck, and brain injury risks associated with rocking out.

Among their recommendations: That metalheads keep their heads safe from high-speed bangin' and tempo changes by adopting "personal protectiveequipment such as neck braces to limit range of motion" and by dropping heavy metal entirely in favor of easy listening music like "Michael Bolton, Celine Dion, Enya, and Richard Clayderman."

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