Beef Roses Are Red (Meat)
Flowers may be a good last-minute Valentine’s gift, an easy fallback, or the one thing you can think of that you know she wants, but sometimes your average bouquet might seem a little tired, cliché, and entirely inedible. That is, unless your dear is a deer. If she’s a omnivorous human female on the other hand, and you want to switch things up a bit, you might appreciate a little work of art called “Steak Bouquet” by butcher Antony Bowness of the Quality Standard Beef and Lamb in Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire.
Not much of a sap himself, Bowness was trying to brainstorm a way to give the gift of flowers without being all flowery about it. Naturally, he landed on the solution “just make them out of meat.” I, on the other hand, am a sap, so I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to completely sap-ify Bowness’s manly bouquet with a poem:
Beef roses are red meat,
Raw bacon is too,
But nothing is rarer,
Than my love for you.
Or the steak I got at that restaurant last year; I swear you could hear it mooing.
The jury’s still out on that last line.
(via The Daily What)