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Assassin’s Creed

  1. Assassin’s Creed Unity Really Can’t Animate Women or Anything Else Actually

    Glitch city and they're the mayor!

    Remember when Ubisoft was all, "We can't include women in Assassin's Creed Unity because they're too hard to animate?" Tons of nightmare-inducing glitches from the new game prove that women are, in fact, much to difficult for the game studio to render—like the above image, from Reddit.

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  2. The Cats In Assassin’s Kitty Unity Are Cute, But Deadly

    Meow is the moment of your demise!

    Sure, Assassin's Creed games are pretty fun, but you know what would make them better? The same thing that makes literally everything better: kitties. Keep in mind, though, these are definitely all boy cats. Lady cats, their bone structure is just too hard to animate. I heard they did hire a parkour expert to train the boy cats, though, so there's that.

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  3. Ubisoft Announces Assassin’s Creed DLC Starring a Woman From 16th Century China

    Apparently women are easier to animate if you only use two and a half dimensions.

    It's no secret that AAA games have a problem with both gender and racial diversity, and that Ubisoft in particular has gotten a lot of heat for saying some dumb things about their inability to address these concerns in their Assassin's Creed series. But it's okay, guys! Now they've announced a new game featuring a woman of color! Sure, it's a sidescroller that you can only play if you buy it as DLC for Assassin's Creed Unity, but—wait, no, that's still frustrating.

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  4. Things We Saw Today: Monkey Island LEGOs!

    That's the second biggest monkey head I've ever seen!

    Tumblr'r Chris Healy ran into these two on-point gals cosplaying as the female assassins from the upcoming Assassin's Creed Unity. Take that, "too hard to animate." (via Tumblr)

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  5. Games for Girls? How About Games for Everyone?

    Gender-neutral games are too hard to animate.

    The portrayal and treatment of women in and around video games is a sore subject for a lot of us. It’s been talked about to death, and yet it still doesn’t seem like we’re making much progress. It’s a very polarizing but uniformly upsetting issue that lingers on in this otherwise great community like cat pee on an oriental rug.

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  6. Things We Saw Today: Marvel Gave James Gunn An Infinity Stone For His Birthday

    With a special guest appearance by Anthony Head!

    "Director of a Marvel film" is a pretty easy gig to land, right? (via Blastr)

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  7. One Animated Woman: American Ninja Warrior Champion Takes on Assassin’s Creed Obstacle Course At SDCC

    Go ninja, go ninja, go!

    Shhh, nobody tell Ubisoft.

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  8. Ubisoft Lacks Resources to Animate Women, but Hires a Parkour Expert for Assassin’s Creed

    #ParkourIsTooHardToAnimate?

    Yes, you read that right. The same studio that claimed it would have been too much work to animate female playable characters in Assassin's Creed Unity just hired a guy to enhance the authenticity of the way the game's characters move.

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  9. Cosplayers Recreate “Women Are Too Hard to Animate” Quote at GaymerX

    Boobs are googly, right?

    Hopefully these two cosplayers Anita Sarkeesian found at GaymerX—that's the LGBTQ fan-centric game convention that just wrapped up its second-ever annual event this weekend in San Francisco—will start a nationwide trend of dressing up as the dumb things content creators say about their (lack of) female representation. Now, could someone could loan me a couple of Barbie dolls and a set of prosthetic gills? I have an idea I want to try out at the next con.

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  10. Ubisoft Blames Lack of Female PCs in Assassin’s Creed on “Reality of Production”

    Today in things that make us scream incoherently

    Readers, meet Charlotte Corday. She was born in 1768, and at the age of twenty-five was executed by guillo

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