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Assassin’s Creed

  1. Things We Saw Today: Kit Harington Gets Historical, Knows His Bastards

    Kit Harington knows things. Jon Snow, on the other hand...

    Kit Harington did not sleep through history class, that is for sure.

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  2. A Scientific Paper on How the Fall-Breaking Haystacks in Assassin’s Creed Are Bulls***

    It's not called a "leap of faith" for nothing.

    The high percentage of nerd overlap between scientists and gamers has produced yet another gem of very important scientific research: a paper that shows why Assassin's Creed's all-powerful, life-saving haystacks are even less realistic than everything else about Assassin's Creed.

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  3. Assassin’s Creed Unity Really Can’t Animate Women or Anything Else Actually

    Glitch city and they're the mayor!

    Remember when Ubisoft was all, "We can't include women in Assassin's Creed Unity because they're too hard to animate?" Tons of nightmare-inducing glitches from the new game prove that women are, in fact, much to difficult for the game studio to render—like the above image, from Reddit.

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  4. The Cats In Assassin’s Kitty Unity Are Cute, But Deadly

    Meow is the moment of your demise!

    Sure, Assassin's Creed games are pretty fun, but you know what would make them better? The same thing that makes literally everything better: kitties. Keep in mind, though, these are definitely all boy cats. Lady cats, their bone structure is just too hard to animate. I heard they did hire a parkour expert to train the boy cats, though, so there's that.

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  5. Ubisoft Announces Assassin’s Creed DLC Starring a Woman From 16th Century China

    Apparently women are easier to animate if you only use two and a half dimensions.

    It's no secret that AAA games have a problem with both gender and racial diversity, and that Ubisoft in particular has gotten a lot of heat for saying some dumb things about their inability to address these concerns in their Assassin's Creed series. But it's okay, guys! Now they've announced a new game featuring a woman of color! Sure, it's a sidescroller that you can only play if you buy it as DLC for Assassin's Creed Unity, but—wait, no, that's still frustrating.

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  6. Things We Saw Today: Monkey Island LEGOs!

    That's the second biggest monkey head I've ever seen!

    Tumblr'r Chris Healy ran into these two on-point gals cosplaying as the female assassins from the upcoming Assassin's Creed Unity. Take that, "too hard to animate." (via Tumblr)

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  7. Games for Girls? How About Games for Everyone?

    Gender-neutral games are too hard to animate.

    The portrayal and treatment of women in and around video games is a sore subject for a lot of us. It’s been talked about to death, and yet it still doesn’t seem like we’re making much progress. It’s a very polarizing but uniformly upsetting issue that lingers on in this otherwise great community like cat pee on an oriental rug.

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  8. Things We Saw Today: Marvel Gave James Gunn An Infinity Stone For His Birthday

    With a special guest appearance by Anthony Head!

    "Director of a Marvel film" is a pretty easy gig to land, right? (via Blastr)

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  9. One Animated Woman: American Ninja Warrior Champion Takes on Assassin’s Creed Obstacle Course At SDCC

    Go ninja, go ninja, go!

    Shhh, nobody tell Ubisoft.

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  10. Ubisoft Lacks Resources to Animate Women, but Hires a Parkour Expert for Assassin’s Creed

    #ParkourIsTooHardToAnimate?

    Yes, you read that right. The same studio that claimed it would have been too much work to animate female playable characters in Assassin's Creed Unity just hired a guy to enhance the authenticity of the way the game's characters move.

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  11. Cosplayers Recreate “Women Are Too Hard to Animate” Quote at GaymerX

    Boobs are googly, right?

    Hopefully these two cosplayers Anita Sarkeesian found at GaymerX—that's the LGBTQ fan-centric game convention that just wrapped up its second-ever annual event this weekend in San Francisco—will start a nationwide trend of dressing up as the dumb things content creators say about their (lack of) female representation. Now, could someone could loan me a couple of Barbie dolls and a set of prosthetic gills? I have an idea I want to try out at the next con.

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  12. Ubisoft Blames Lack of Female PCs in Assassin’s Creed on “Reality of Production”

    Today in things that make us scream incoherently

    Readers, meet Charlotte Corday. She was born in 1768, and at the age of twenty-five was executed by guillo

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  13. The Honest Trailer For Assassin’s Creed 4 Is Just Too Real, Man

    Yarrrr this pile of hay is not sufficient enough to cushion my fall, yarr.

    So apparently lots of people loved Assassin's Creed 4: Pirate Booty, which is cool, but there's no denying the game has some issues. Smosh Games has released their latest Honest Trailer about our fave not-assassin-assassin-pirate, and it really hits the mark. Please enjoy Ass-ass-in's Creed 4: I'm on a boat.

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  14. Things We Saw Today: Happy National Siblings Day From Game of Thrones

    Whoever runs Game of Thrones' official Twitter account deserves a raise.

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  15. The Scarlet Pimpernel and What Superheroes Owe to Baroness Emma Orczy

    The Escapist : The Big Picture : Scarlet Unity - What Assassin's Creed and Batman Have in Common
    You'd think after discovering that Alexandre Dumas was multiracial years ago, I'd have learned to assume less about the writers of historical adventure novels, but I had no idea that The Scarlet Pimpernel was written by a woman. Or narrated by a woman! They left that out of the Broadway show and illustrated book retelling of the Looney Tunes adaptation that were, uh, my only experiences of the story as a kid. Here's to reading the original! Previously in Badass Women in History

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  16. Things We Saw Today: Grumpy Cat As Black Widow

    Things We Saw Today

    Also available in NerdMashup's Etsy store, Grumpy Cat as Captain America, Nick Fury, Thor, Wonder Woman, Batman, and more. (via @Deensey)

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  17. Assassin’s Creed: Checkmate Imagines Edward Kenway As A Guy Ritchie Protagonist [Video]

    If only time actually worked like that. We would all be way less awkward as people.

    Hands down, the best parts of all the Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes movies is when Robert Downey Jr.'s Holmes has to decide the best way to kick somebody's teeth in using hyper-fast mental calculations -- which sounds like a trick that a member of the Assassins would totally know how to do. So Machinima gave us Connor Kenway doing just that.

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  18. The First Assassin’s Creed Game With a Female Protagonist is Coming to a Console Near You

    Just What You've Always Wanted

    It was just a few months ago that we were talking about the main character of Assassin's Creed Liberation arriving on consoles for the first time. Aveline de Grandpré, the biracial French-African child of a plaçage marriage in 1700's New Orleans, was announced as the star of an hour long DLC pack available with the PS3 version of Assassin's Creed IV: Pirates Black Flag. But now, the Liberation team has revealed that on the back of strong fan support for the handheld version of the title, they've been able to complete a new feature-packed version of the game that will ship to Xbox, Playstation, and PC early next year.

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  19. Assassin’s Creed‘s Ezio Sneaks Up On Peter Dinklage

    Bloody Good Fun

    Peter Dinklage is a talented actor, and a fan favorite on Game of Thrones, so it's nice to see that he's friendly towards his fans as well.  This photo of Reddit user AndyValentine, dressed as Assassin's Creed's Ezio for a recent convention, proves not only that Dinklage is up for some fun with his fans, but that if Cersei and Joffrey really wanted to kill Tyrion, they just needed to hire the right assassin.

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  20. Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag Getting Manga Adaptation, Because Sure, Why Not

    The absurd of Abstergo.

    Move over, One Piece, there's a new pirate-themed manga in town. And a very unlikely one at that. Japanese magazine Jump is going to publish a manga series based on Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, a game made by French developer Ubisoft. Manga based on video games aren't anything particularly new, but one based on a Western game is pretty unusual -- Western games are rarely popular with Japanese gamers, and only series like The Legend of Zelda and Strider have successfully made their way to the right-to-left format, so this is both extremely weird and cool.

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