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Things We Saw Today: The Minions Now Have Their Very Own Paint Color

*Excited muttering*

Clap your hands if you've finally found your ideal shade! The Pantone Color Institute has created its first new color in three years, inspired by the Minions of Despicable Me fame and a suggestion from Pharrell. Anyone else having The Yellow Wallpaper flashbacks?

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Whiskey Supply Cannot Match Our Ravenous Whiskey Demand

Damn you, Don Draper!

Whiskey isn't just for your Dad anymore, and that's a problem. According to Smithsonian the nation's leading distilleries claim that due to a resurgence in the drink's popularity a shortage may be looming AND DEAR GOD IT'S THE WEEKEND, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO SIP BROODINGLY NOW?

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Suntory Whiskey’s New Ad Campaign Uses 3D-Sculpted Ice

For relaxing times... 3D-sculpt an ice Bill Murray!

There's a new ad campaign for Suntory Whiskey by Japanese agency TBWA/Hakuhodo that shows the whiskey served over intricate, precision-drilled 3D ice sculptures. It's beautiful to watch the drill create such a complex shape, and then have that shape drowned in whiskey.

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Man Fined $500 For Drinking A Severed Human Toe In A Shot

You don't eat the toe, you brute! It's a damned garnish! Do you eat your parsley, too?

You read that headline right -- a man was served a human toe in a shot, and instead of suing everyone in a 10-block radius, he is being fined $500. That's what happens when you botch Dawson City's famous Sourtoe Shot -- a shot of Yukon Jack served with a preserved human toe in it. But your not supposed to drink the toe! Come on, that's just silly.

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Man Sentenced For Fatally Stabbing Parrot With Fork, Whiskey Unsurprisingly Involved

Richard J. Atkinson, a 63-year-old man from Everett, Washington, has been sentenced to six months in jail for stabbing his (now ex-) girlfriend's parrot to death with a serving fork  while in the throes of what his lawyer described as a blacked-out rage fueled by mixing whiskey and anti-anxiety medication. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with Everett -- the Florida of Washington state -- no word in that sentence should come as any great shock.

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World's First Alcohol-Free Whiskey "ArKay" Comes in a Can

In a case of mankind finding ways to outwit itself, ArKay Beverages presents the world's first alcohol free whiskey. The forthcoming beverage is targeted at people who, for either medical, religious, or personal reasons, do not consume alcohol, but still want whiskey. A niche, but perhaps very desperate determined market. Instead of the normal distilling process, ArKay has opted to go the artificial flavoring route, meaning that their "whiskey" is 100% alcohol free, as well as FDA certified. It's also halal, and comes in either a bottle or can.

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Two Roads To Courage: A Suitcase Filled with Brass Knuckles and Whisky

A gentleman by the name of Tyler Riewer is fortunate to have the best friends on the planet. As a birthday gift, they created a custom suitcse fitted to hold a set of brass knuckles and a bottle of Bulleit Bourbon. The custom case features the words "Life is a daring adventure, or nothing," on the exterior along with the phrase "sack up." Inside, presumably an indicator that the contents are meant to prepare one for said adventure is the legend, "two roads to courage." Frankly, I am in awe. Not only because of the choice of bourbon -- harsh stuff, but good stuff -- but the sheer precision and low-brow class of the entire affair. Sadly, this is not the kind of gift that can be bought. If you could buy it at a store, it just wouldn't be the same. Congratulations to you, Mr. Riewer. (Images and story via Laughing Squid, Tyler Riewer)

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Whiskey in a Can

First the 31-ounce Starbucks coffee, now this: A Panamanian company called Scottish Spirits has dubiously made history by becoming the first company to sell straight whiskey in a can. (Jack Daniels sells a blended whiskey-and-cola drink in a can, which by comparison looks prim and proper.)

Why put twelve ounces, or eight shots, in one can? According to the people behind whiskey-in-a-can, it's not for enabling vagrants or fueling debauched frat parties, but for saving the environment, of course:

‘The can is the perfect size to be shared between three people who can mix it with other things like cola. ‘It’s lightweight and portable and entirely recyclable, which is good news. It will be one of the hot picks for any outdoor activities.’

The Scotch Whisky Association is not too happy about this, primarily because it thinks that people might confuse the drink with authentic Scotch on account of the company's name. Regular whiskey in a can, however, is apparently a-OK.

>>>See also: He-Man whiskey.

(Daily Mail via Gawker | Scottish Spirits' website)

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