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  1. The Onion To Debut New Website Parodying Buzzfeed and Upworthy

    I can't make a sub-header joke when I'm writing about The Onion. That's flying a little too close to the sun.

    America's Finest News Source has a new platform for satirizing uniquely 20th century media--on Tuesday The Onion announced Clickhole.com, a site dedicated to parodying Upworthy , Buzzfeed, and endless over-sharing.

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  2. Shut the Front Door, Starbucks To Sell Alcohol Across The US

    Everyone prepare your ridiculously elaborate drink order now.

    Four Loko may be banned, but a strategically covered mermaid is ready to fill the nation's caffeine and alcohol void. Starbucks has announced they will start selling beer and wine across the US as part of an ongoing attempt to fulfill America's every beverage desire.

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  3. Activision Blizzard Buys Freedom From Parent Company, Goes Its Own Way

    Maybe this change will make Blizzard more likely to release things in a timely fashion? No, just kidding, it won't.

    Today in the world of money, gaming powerhouse Activision Blizzard has announced plans to buy itself from parent company Vivendi Universal in a two-part stock deal. When the dust settles, almost $8.2 billion of stock will have changed hands, leaving Activision Blizzard free to go its own way. We kinda suspect the new company will do OK.

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  4. Ouch: Sony’s Bond Rating Now One Step Above Junk Bonds

    How the mighty have fallen. Credit rating agency Moody's has dropped their rating on long-term bonds issued by Sony to it's lowest investment grade, marking them just one notch above junk bonds. For the couple of you that might not be investment bankers out there, this means that the agency believes there is a very, very good chance that the Japanese tech giant is in real trouble and may not be able to pay off its long-term debt.

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  5. Amazon Makes No Profit on Kindle Sales, Follows Drug Addiction Sales Model

    The trick to being a drug dealer, or so I'm told, is understanding that one must build a clientele. The key to financial success is to offer a taste for free in order to hook folks. You're want to provide a service, after all, not just score a single sale. This mindset is also apparently shared by Amazon, as they make no profit on the sales of their Kindle Fire HD or Paperwhite. Amazon's profits instead come from the odds and ends purchased via these platforms.

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  6. Zynga Continues to Bleed Money, Notes Big Loss on OMGPOP Acquisition

    Zynga isn't doing so well these days. Their quarterly performance has been abysmal of late, and they've just announced that they'll be writing off between $85 and $95 million in association with the acquisition of OMGPOP. Considering that Zynga shelled out between $180 and $210 million for the company, that's a rather massive nosedive. What goes up must come down, after all, and Draw Something didn't have much of a revenue model. Looks like the Zynga is finding that out the hard way.

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  7. Father of “Gangnam Style” Performer Reaps the Benefits, Sees Company Share Price Increase 285%

    There's no good way to explain the sudden spike in the share price of Korean semiconductor manufacturer DI. Over three weeks, the company has rocketed from around $1.80 to $5.12 a share. The shift is baffling, considering that there's been no change financially for the company otherwise. It's not like they unveiled some amazing contraption that might drive such growth. DI's main shareholder, however, just so happens to be Park Won-ho. He's the father of Park Jae-sang -- as in PSY, the performer behind the immensely popular "Gangnam Style" song.

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  8. Google Becomes World’s Second Largest Tech Company, Confirms Internet is Serious Business

    Microsoft has finally had to abdicate its throne to Google; the Internet giant has surpassed Microsoft's market capitalization to take second place among technology companies. Only Apple sits above the two, though it has more market capitalization than Google and Microsoft combined. If nothing else, this finally does confirm that the Internet is serious business, especially for a company in the technology sector.

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  9. Wal-Mart Stops Stocking Amazon Kindle, Takes Ball on Way Home

    The eBook pricing dispute between Amazon and pretty much every other provider has had some nasty repercussions. In general, though, the traditional brick and mortar businesses aren't a big fan of the way Amazon operates, with promotions where they specifically suggest folks shop in stores and then buy from their online portal instead. Wal-Mart has now made the call to stop stocking Amazon's Kindle tablet.

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  10. Yahoo! Ditches BlackBerry, Offers Variety of Phones to Employees

    In their continuing bid to remain relevant, Yahoo! is apparently going to replace the corporate phones of all their employees. The old mainstays, BlackBerry devices, will be replaced by their much cooler cousins -- like the iPhone 5 and Nokia Lumia 920. Sure, this might come off as another stab at RIM, but really it's just Yahoo! attempting to get with the times.

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