Agent Porpoise Carter Reporting for Duty! The Mary Sue’s Fave Comments of the Week

We'd watch the crap out of an alternate universe version of this, Marvel.

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The above image is what happens in the TMS comment section when a person mentioned in a post has the same name as a beloved Marvel character, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. So long and thanks for all the fan art, John.

In fact, people with similar names confuse us a lot around here, and Zachary Levi being part of Heroes Reborn when we all know Zachary Quinto so well from the original put us on an emotional roller coaster. We weren’t alone:

Instead he should team up with original Heroes alum Zachary Quinto on a superhero show called “Hot Zacks.” The show is…I dunno, the hot Zacks are hot but constantly in peril and have to be continuously rescued by superheroines played by lady Expendables-type actresses.

You were also as curious about the Mars Curiosity rover’s crystal snorting habits as we were.

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The Singularity®! Brought to you by the Mary Sue comment section. A reader who noticed our propensity to somehow make every technology story about robots killing us all decided to let us in on their own tale of A.I. run amok. I won’t spoil the ending for you; you’ll have to read it yourself. No disassemble!

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Speaking of technology, those Nintendo amiibo sure are clever little inventions, huh? (Segues!) But Locuas isn’t so sure that some angry dude’s plan to buy up all the female amiibo so that no one else can get them is equally clever. Instead, it’ll probably shake out more like this:

oh no! now nintendo will see that those characters are selling well and, in response, will KEEP making amiibo of them! he is an evil mastermind!

We suggested that the extremely fast evolution rate of lizard penises basically made them Pokémon, and you ran with it as we knew you would.

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Meanwhile, in the Mary Sue offices, we had assumed it would be called “Lizpeen” and that, like Metapod and Kakuna, it would primarily use harden. It’s super effective!

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Author
Dan Van Winkle
Dan Van Winkle (he) is an editor and manager who has been working in digital media since 2013, first at now-defunct <em>Geekosystem</em> (RIP), and then at <em>The Mary Sue</em> starting in 2014, specializing in gaming, science, and technology. Outside of his professional experience, he has been active in video game modding and development as a hobby for many years. He lives in North Carolina with Lisa Brown (his wife) and Liz Lemon (their dog), both of whom are the best, and you will regret challenging him at <em>Smash Bros.</em>