I like trashy things. The sleazier the better. So naturally, I was excited to check out HBO’s The Idol when it premiered. It did not meet my expectations. The thing about trash TV is that there is a certain joy to it when it’s done right. The Idol has not been done right. I’ll still watch it, for now, because apparently, I do not value my time, attention, or brain cells, but I can already tell it’s going to wear out its welcome quickly.
I’ve thought way too much about this, and good trash TV has the following criteria:
- Increasingly implausible storylines
- Joyously horny
- Never takes itself too seriously
- Fun to watch
The Idol only achieves number one, weakly. So with that in mind, here are better trashy shows to watch than The Idol (and if you need more alternatives to it and other popular shows that don’t deserve your time, we’ve got you covered right here):
True Blood
Ok, yes, the show falls off a cliff after the fifth season, after showrunner Alan Ball’s exit (hold that thought), but even then, it’s still entertaining. If you’re looking for trash TV, True Blood is the best trash TV you’re ever going to find. It truly has it all: Vampire threesomes! Ryan Kwanten playing the best himbo ever seen on television. Witches who kill! Vampires who don’t, or at least, try not to! A mind-reading waitress who keeps falling in love with vampires and getting into trouble!
The last one is the premise of the show, but come on, everyone watched True Blood in its heyday, and if for some reason you didn’t, get on that now and come back after for more trash recommendations. Fair warning: No other show can compare.
Start at the beginning with this show and enjoy the ride.
Banshee
This is the show Alan Ball left to create, and friends, Banshee doesn’t get enough love. In the first 10 minutes, our nameless protagonist (Antony Starr, Homelander in The Boys) gets out of prison, is involved in a car chase with explosions, and then randomly has sex with a bartender. It’s perfect. The show is horny and angry, frequently at the same time. The cast is excellent and never once winks at the audience despite how implausible the situations are, and they are incredibly implausible.
Banshee is about our nameless protagonist, who goes to Banshee, PA, sees the new-in-town sheriff get killed, and decides to adopt his identity. As you do. There’s also an ex-Amish mob boss who runs the town, the greatest hacker in the world who also happens to have a killer fashion sense, and a long-lost love for our hero who is the daughter of another mobster who is looking for our hero. Oh, and they’re both master thieves. LOL. Everyone has some exceptional world-class skill in this random-ass small town in Pennsylvania, and it’s ever explained why.
Probably my favorite thing about this show is in its fourth season, after they had wrapped up every dangling storyline by the end of season three, and knew this would be their last season, they decided to introduce a satanic serial killer as the main plot line because why not?! Like every good trash show, anything goes.
Start at the beginning; there is a cohesive narrative thread amongst all the anger and horniness.
Spartacus
I love this show. It has everything: extremely violent, gratuitous nudity, Lucy Lawless merrily chewing scenery in every scene she’s in, and the pilot has an utterly unhinged shot where the actors are jogging in place while a CGI background moves them to different locations. What more could you ever need?
Spartacus is about Spartacus, a real-life slave who was a gladiator and then led a rebellion against slavery in Ancient Rome. It has a stellar cast, and even though you might be familiar with the story, it’s entertaining due the numerous artistic, campy flourishes. Come for the fighting, stay for the bonkers storylines and excellent insults characters throw at each other. “Jupiter’s c*ck” is a particular favorite epithet of the show, and me.
Start from the beginning. You can skip the shortened second mini-season that acts as a prequel to the first season if you must, but I don’t reccommend it.
Ghost Whisperer
I could write 20,000 words on why Ghost Whisperer is a trash masterpiece. No one would read it, but that’s on them. This show is bananas: it’s centered around Melinda (Jennifer Love Hewitt), who is always over-dressed in ridiculous gowns that are incredibly impractical because she owns a cramped antique shop and she also sees ghosts. Every episode is the same and yet unique in its bonkersness: Melinda sees a ghost who has a message for a loved one, the loved one doesn’t believe her, they see something ghostly, now they believe her, everyone cries, Melinda helps the ghost “cross over” out of the Earthly realm into whatever comes next.
Storylines are set up to be something major and then dropped with a quickness, never to be referenced again. Probably my favorite example (spoiler) is when Melinda’s husband dies in season 4. Don’t worry, though. Remember what this show is about! His spirit inhabits the body of another man whose own spirit has already left it, and Melinda and her husband go merrily on with their lives.
The show completely ignores the fact that her husband’s only brother is dead (established in the pilot episode), his father is dead (established in season 1), so now his mother (Christine Baranski), who we met in season 1 and had a whole episode subplot revolve around her, is left with no family at all, which is horrifying when you consider from her perspective her daughter-in-law shacked up with a guy just a few days after her son died. Oh well! Death is merely a plot device in this show.
I’m bereft, still, that we only got 5 seasons of this trash wonder. Start from the beginning, or start anywhere. It doesn’t matter. Continuity is not a thing with this show, and every episode feels like a fever dream in the best way possible.
Vanderpump Rules
Vanderpump Rules is the greatest reality TV show of all time (Rock of Love is obviously second), and if you’re one of those people who turns up their nose at reality shows, all I can say is: We’re all raccoons dining out of the garbage can, here. I’m just trying to tell you which dumpsters are best.
Vanderpump Rules is centered around the employees (who clearly only “work” there for the show after season 1) of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump’s restaurant SUR. (SUR obviously being an acronym for Sexy Unique Restaurant.) Everyone on this show is a villain. They fight, f*ck, and generally terrorize each other, all while being caught on camera. It’s delicious.
Every cast member is thirsty for fame and will do whatever it takes to stay on the show. As a result, we get cheating scandals (you thought Scandoval was the first cheating storyline scandal on the show?! Absolutely not), arrests, marriages, divorces, and a whole lot of s*it-talking. If you want to start in the middle of the drama, start with season 2 (a cheating scandal season), but make sure to go back to season 1 eventually.
Bridgerton
When looking for my own trashy show recommendations, I saw someone call Bridgerton the spiritual successor to True Blood, and I have to agree. The only difference is Bridgerton centers around romance instead of violence. It still has ridiculous storylines, gratuitous nudity, and a beautiful cast. Each season revolves around a central relationship, and the reasons why these couples can’t live happily ever after (until they do) are ridiculous. In season 1, a vow against a dead father to not carry on the bloodline is the central point of conflict. LOL, ok!
Love is always the quest, but as anyone knows, pursuing love doesn’t always end up with a happy ending, so if you’re not a romance-genre person, there’s enough of everything else to keep your attention.
Start at the beginning; there’s only two seasons (for now).
Everything Else
Naturally, there are more than six trashy shows out there to keep you engaged. If you’ve seen everything listed here, be sure to check out Passions (you can watch old episodes on YouTube, obviously go for the episodes that have Timmy, the doll who comes to life due to a witch), Jersey Shore (GTL, baby! The first two seasons are trash perfection), You (first three seasons are fun trash!), Riverdale (really leans into campy trash after the first season), Nip/Tuck (I haven’t finished the entire series yet but so far, it’s earned a place on this list), Outlander (romance in the vein of Bridgerton, but twist, people time travel!), and of course, Scandal (first two seasons are best, Shonda Rhimes knows what she’s doing!)
(featured image: HBO)
