The Mary Sue

North Korea Builds Its Own Tablet, Fails to Include the Internet

Dear North Korea, This is not how you do technology. Points for effort, though. Sincerely, The Rest of the World

North Korea has come out with what's basically its own version of an iPad: The Samjiyon. Unlike the iPad, which is used to access the Internet to get movies, books, and music in addition to communications and basic web-browsing, the Samjiyon does not get Wi-Fi, and is instead basically a touchscreen tablet devoted to delivering government propaganda and also slingshot games, because North Korea.

North Korea Probably Detonated A Nuke This Morning — Here’s What’s Different This Time

by Ian Chant Feb 12th

I hope you like things that are scary, because an unstable regime led by an untested young man probably just detonated its latest atomic bomb. All signs this morning point to a successful nuclear bomb test in North Korea, which the country has been threatening for some weeks. The move comes in defiance of the international community -- or as they are known in North Korea, "western devils jealous of the power and virility of glorious leader Kim Jong Un" -- which had urged North Korea not to undertake what is seen by the rest of the world as a clearly provocative and threatening action, probably because it is totally meant that way by North Korea.

An Unexpected Journey: Google Chairman Eric Schmidt Set to Visit North Korea

by Steven Romano Jan 3rd

If you count yourself a devoted reader of all things Geekosystem, then you no doubt know that among our other self-imposed journalistic duties, one of them involves the constant and dedicated coverage of developments coming out of North Korea -- whether the news be legitimate, comedic, or -- typically -- a unique amalgamation that skates that fine line of being both. In keeping with this trend, South Korean officials have reported that Google chairman Eric Schmidt is scheduled to visit North Korea on a clandestine humanitarian mission, with the company itself pretty tight-lipped on the details surrounding the reason for this unorthodox trip. And as far as we know, it ain't a vacation.

Aw, Too Bad: North Korea’s Satellite is Probably Already Dead

by Glen Tickle Dec 17th

Well, that didn't last long. In what we have to assume is karmic payback for lying about unicorns, the satellite that North Korea launched into orbit last week is already dead, says a Harvard astronomer. North Korea is calling the launch a big victory for leader Kim Jong Un and their space program, but it seems like they haven't been as successful as they initially thought. Reports say that the object is tumbling and that so far, no signals have been detected coming from the washing machine-sized satellite -- which upon further review, may well turn out to actually just be a washing machine. Too bad, guys. Better luck next time.

Sadly Not The Onion: Glorious Leader Kim Jong Un Wins Time’s Person of the Year Poll

by Rollin Bishop Dec 13th

You would think that, by now, traditional businesses would have learned not to offer online polls. The Internet can quickly become a hive of trolls, wreaking havoc in whatever way they can. Yet Time's reader poll for Person of the Year went up, same as always, and didn't even include rudimentary measures to prevent folks from abusing the voting system. Now that the vote has concluded, it's pretty clear that something went awry. Kim Jong Un, the glorious leader of North Korea, won.

North Korean Rocket Launch Fails, Falls Into Yellow Sea

by Max Eddy Apr 13th

In the run up to the launch of North Korea's Unha-3 rocket and the satellite it carried, there was a surprising amount of candor from the isolated nation's government. The public and foreign press were invited to view the rocket on the launchpad, and some journalists even toured the control room that would organize the launch. It would all prove in vain as minutes after today's lift off, the rocket's second stage failed to ignite and the spacecraft crashed into the Yellow Sea.

North Korea Releases First Photo of Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-il’s Likely Successor

by Robert Quigley Sep 30th

North Korean newspaper Rodong Sinmun has released the first official photo of Kim Jong-un (circled above), Kim Jong-Il's likely successor as leader of North Korea. On September 27th, Kim Jong-un was promoted to four-star general, which was notable for being the first time the state has mentioned him publicly. The Center for Arms Control and Non-Proliferation has an interesting, detailed post on Kim Jong-un and what his succession would mean for relations with North Korea. They write that he is "believed to be a carbon copy of Kim Jong-il’s personality and body shape" (Jong-un is estimated to be 5'5" and 192 pounds) and that he is "Believed to have masterminded the March 2010 Cheonan attack and July 2009 cyber attacks on South Korea’s government and personal websites." (via Telegraph, circle added.)