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CDC Recommends That Women Not Using Birth Control Stop Drinking Alcohol

Yesterday, the CDC issued new guidelines warning that anyone who could conceivably (no pun intended) be pregnant should stop drinking alcohol because, in their words, "why take the risk?" The new guidelines are intended to prevent instances of fetal alcohol syndrome, and argue that a large percentage of American women are at risk of unknowingly drinking while pregnant:

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Ebola Isn’t Going to Have a U.S. Outbreak, So Take Your Concern and Use It to Help Where It Is a Problem

Don't panic.

The first case of Ebola in the U.S. has been documented, but as Chinese state media has helpfully pointed out, Ebola is not a zombie plague. You, a citizen of the U.S. (or other developed nation) are not going to catch Ebola, nor is it going to become a major outbreak where you live. Instead, take that concern and help people who live where it is a problem.

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CDC Finds Vials of Smallpox the FDA Forgot it Had Lying Around

"Lolz. Whoops. Our bad." -- The FDA probably.

It's not uncommon for laboratories to have dangerous things on hand, but they're typically aware of the dangerous things they have on hand. That doesn't seem to be the case for the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) who had vials of the smallpox virus lying around for decades without realizing it.

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When You’re Sliding Into First… Avoid Diarrhea With a New App From the CDC… irst?

...or we guess you could probably use it to get diarrhea.

Millions of people contract diarrhea when traveling each year. At the very least, it can ruin your trip, but it can also pose a real health risk to some people. To help travelers avoid foods and drinks that could potentially cause diarrhea, the CDC has a new app that can identify potentially risky choices.

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The Four Worst Ways the Sequester Will Hit Science Funding

When the so-called sequester -- billions upon billions of dollars of cuts to domestic programs, military funding, social services and pretty much any other government program you care to name -- was agreed on in 2011 after a spectacularly unproductive round of budget talks, it was meant to be a gun to the head of the American economy. The idea of making blind, thoughtless cuts to popular programs was thought to be so detrimental to the nation's economy and welfare that the thought of going through it would force Democrats and and Republicans to come together and finally pound out a budget deal that everyone can live with. With the deadline looming and no agreement in sight, though, it seems that we've proven no idea is too stupid for the U.S. government. In all likelihood, the sequester will kick in at the end of this week, making cuts in the budgets of agencies like NASA, the NIH, and plenty more American science and technology agencies. How bad is it going to be? Well, here are just a few ways the sequester will kick the teeth right out of science funding.

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Homeland Security Encourages Americans To Prepare For Zombie Apocalypse (Because of Reasons)

Braaaaiiiinnnnns

The Homeland Security Department told us we should be prepared for a zombie apocalypse in an online seminar this past week. Do they know something we don't? 

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CDC: There Is No Zombie Apocalypse

Officially Official

It's crazy times, people -- in the last couple of weeks, we have heard about more than one instance of people eating people, and that is exactly "more than one" too many. Add in the tweet from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign about a leak of hazardous materials from the Institute of Genomic Biology, and let's just say we're all in a bit of a tizzy about a possible zombie apocalypse. But the Center for Disease Control says we really have no need to worry. (Even though they are on it like Comet in case it does happen, which it's totally not, they swear.)

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Here Is the Official Comic Book Guide to Surviving Zombies From the Center for Disease Control

Don't Panic

It's always nice to hear that governmental agencies have a sense of humor, and even though the Center for Disease Control sure as heck let us down at the end of The Walking Dead last season, the real-life version of the agency has taken it upon themselves to take much better precautions. They've illustrated their plans by creating an official guide to surviving a zombie apocalypse in the form of a downloadable comic book. Just in time for Rapture 2.0, you guys!

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In Case of A Zombie Outbreak, the CDC Would Get Right On That

Vital Information for Your Everyday Life

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It's likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. -- The CDC, on its role in a hypothetical zombie outbreak. As for what you can do, you should prepare for zombies like you would any other natural disaster: stock up on water, food, first aid, and wait it out in a safe place. They do not, however, mention useful improvised weapons or heading out to your favorite pub. (via The A.V. Club.)

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