You’ll Put Your Eye Out, Kid: Doctors Warn of Dangers of Flying Champagne Corks
It’s New Year’s Eve, which means plenty of us will be following a certain great global tradition –going home with a stranger in a desperate, booze-addled effort to prove that we, too, are worthy of love. In another tradition, this will leave plenty of us wishing that we were blind when we wake up tomorrow morning to welcome another year. The American Academy of Ophthalmology, though, reminds us that, aside from “while you’re pulling on your pants and calling a cab tomorrow morning,” being blind is not a desirable condition. The organization has even issued a handy public service warning to remind people to exercise caution when popping the champagne this evening, as the flying corks can put eyes out just as easily as a Red Ryder BB Gun.
While popping champagne with a flourish and a launched cork is fun, it’s not really proper technique, and those flying corks can put the kibosh on a party almost instantly. Slowing removing the cork with a counterclockwise upward pull may lack the dramatic flair you’re looking for, but it’s not going to permanently screw up anyone’s retina either. I know, I know, I’m a kill joy, but acting like a grown up is the price we pay for grown up fun. I don’t like it any more than you, but there you have it.
Take our word for it — nothing puts the damper on an otherwise pleasant evening of drunken revelry than a trip to the hospital. More than that, you really don’t want to be the person who sends your friend to the ER with a flying champagne cork to the eyeball. Not only are you going to ruin the toast this evening, but you’re bound to hear about it for the rest of the year. Frankly, you’re going to deserve to, so be careful while you’re enjoying yourselves tonight, everyone, and remember — once you’ve done the champagne toast and left all eyes intact, call a cab. It’d be a shame to go to all the trouble of not blinding anyone just to get pulled over or worse afterwards.