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  1. Update: “Feminist” Is Most Likely Winning that Stupid Time Magazine Poll Because of 4Chan

    Commencing eyeroll sequence...

    Shhh... Listen. That's the sound of our abject surprise. Yes, it's supposed to sound like nothing, because it doesn't exist.

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  2. Time Magazine Asks “Is Feminist the Worst Word of 2014?” in New Poll. We Have an Answer For Them.

    How about "print media?"

    Yes, today was the day that Time Magazine went on record as wanting to shove chopsticks in their ears whenever somebody says the word "feminist."

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  3. On the “Fake” Geek Girl

    Today in things that make us scream incoherently

    A little while ago we posted a video making a joke out of the stereotypical but not universally true awkwardness of male geeks, particularly around women, and the comments on the post exploded. For every guy who came in to say, reasonably if perhaps with little humor, that all dudes aren't like that; there was a guy there to tell every woman who'd commented to say she'd known guys like that once that her personal experience and anything she'd ever done based on it was wrong. It was a clusterfuck of anecdotal experience and gendered slurs, and the only thing it really made me want to do was get all the commenters in a room and say, loudly and clearly: "I'll make a deal with all you dudes who are angry because this is how your demographic is portrayed. You let me have this one video making this one joke, and I will let you have the entire "fake geek girl" meme, comprising hundreds of jokes, many of them misogynist, that perpetuate the idea that women never do anything you like unless it is to "get attention" and then betray you when they get it. This should seem more than fair." Because that's what the idea of the "fake geek girl" is all about, right? "Oh, she's just doing that for the attention." Which, by the way, is also a thing said when women claim they've been raped, or beaten by people close to them; it's one of the foundational assumptions behind the reasoning that women lie or will lie about being raped to get abortions; it is the idea that excuses the behavior of a society that minimizes the concerns of women.

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  4. We Don’t Know How To Feel About This: Zombie Muppets


    Halloween is less than a week away, and the internet is starting to show it. But that doesn't mean we were prepared for Jon Defreest's zombie Muppets. It's okay. It's going to be okay. I put zombie Kermit and the rest behind the jump, so you only have to look at them if you want to.

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  5. Real Comic Book Superheroes Who’d Be Better In The Sack Than Cosmo’s Fake Ones

    what is this I don't even

    We've been saving this one for a couple weeks now, ever since it was brought to our attention by a friend who picked up a Cosmo because there was nothing else to do while waiting for a train.  Now, there's quite a bit of Cosmopolitan to get incensed about, but never before had we seen an editorial foray into something so close to our hearts relevant to our interests. In a single page, Cosmo posits four superheroes who are "focused on a woman's needs," including, we shit you not, a guy who is half Edward Cullen and half Jacob Black. Once I surfaced from my black rage, I decided that the funniest thing about this is that if Cosmo had looked for canonical superheroes who would be good in bed, they would have had an entire list in a couple of minutes. Oh, I'm sorry. Super heroes who are "focused on a woman's needs."

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  6. Trailer for We Dare Wii Is Hideously Uncomfortable

    Today in things that make us scream incoherently

    This is a real commercial, for a real game, sitting in Ubisoft's YouTube channel.  The boxes at the end are a few different alternate endings, including a foursome, a flat out swingers situation, and, to take a serious dip in tastefulness: a casual bisexuality joke. We don't know what else to say about it, so we're just going to inflict it on you. Update: Ubisoft has since locked the video for American viewers.  Hopefully this one will stick around. (via No High Scores.)

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  7. Can We All Please Just Ignore Crazy, Racist Statements About The French-Muslim Batman-Helper

    In case you've been out of the loop (and it's a pretty tiny loop, so you could easily be excused) there's more than one Batman now.  Also, one of those Batmans (the original flavor) has been travelling around the world recruiting more Batmans to be his Little Helpers. I'll let that sink in. There has been some controversy over the French-Batman's-Little-Helper Nightrunner, who is a young French-born Muslim from Clichy-Sous-Bois, the neighborhood rocked by riots in 2005, who was motivated by the death of a radical friend at the hands of the police to fight against Islamic nationals and terrorists in the French state. And by controversy, I mean internet controversy.  Which is to say, some random people who have nothing to do with the comics industry and, in fact, nothing to do with France, said some racist and religiously intolerant stuff about the choice; and no one in the comics industry or, in fact, France, has yet responded.

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  8. So Batman Is Now a Mafia Don

    “Some of you may have wondered…How does a man like Batman afford to constantly update his crime-fighting technology? Where does his money come from? “Well, the answer is me.” That’s right. In front of a shocked crowd, Bruce Wayne returned to the city he called home after a mysterious absence (one chronicled in the pages of Grant Morrison’s multi-part epic Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne) to not only reveal he’d been funding Batman for years, but also that he planned to expand said funding to create the multinational organization known as Batman Incorporated. -- Alex Segura, in The Source, the official blog of DC Comics. It's funny, because the last time we checked, funding an international organization of highly skilled individuals who go around and beat up people that they don't like was ILLEGAL and admitting it would GET YOU IN TROUBLE WITH THE FEDS, Interpol, and several other organizations whose attention is, in a word, non-trivial. Also if I wanted to read Iron Man I WOULD READ IRON MAN.

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  9. Wonder Woman Getting a TV Show: Gee. Thanks.

    Both Deadline Hollywood and The Hollywood Reporter have some blockbuster geek news today: instead of making the long pre-production purgatory dwelling Wonder Woman movie, DC Entertainment is optioning a television show featuring the Amazonian princess, with David E. Kelley to write and produce. Aside from the sense of "Oh, good, somebody is going to do something with Wonder Woman," this tingles every last geek girl sense in my body. Nerdrage commencing in t-minus... now.

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  10. State Sen. Nancy King: Reading Comics = Uneducated

    Maryland State Senator Nancy King is running for reelection on a platform of education reform, and her ill-thought out direct mailer is slightly confusing for a moment, and then, once its meaning is fully grasped, starts raising the blood pressure of anyone who has ever worked in or enjoyed the fruits of sequential art. It implies, for the record, that if children don't have teachers to educate them, they will start reading comic books. The HORROR.

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  11. ಠ_ಠ: Warner Bros. Plans “Swashbuckling” Don Quixote Flick

    Yes, you read that right. And yes, it means everything that you don't want it to mean.  Fresh off the success of Sherlock Holmes, Warner Brothers is looking for other literary adventure stories to bring to the big screen, but they apparently decided that whores, dementia, and futile struggle was too depressing, and what would be really cool was if Don Quixote of La Mancha was an actual hero who fought actual monsters. According to ScreenRant:
    Producer Joel Silver – the Hollywood powerhouse behind (you guessed it) Sherlock Holmes – is teaming up with Warner Bros. to create a “Pirates of the Caribbean-style swashbuckling version of the story” for modern-day moviegoers.

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