“Rodents of Unusual Size” Have Invaded Central Park, This is Not a Drill

Geekpeoples, be alert. It appears the world is under fire, and we may be the only ones who can sense the next step. First it was men robbing a pizza shop dressed as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Then it was a man in Texas sneaking into a woman’s house and biting her, claiming vampirism and a “need to feed.” Now, reports are circling that rabbit-sized rats have invaded Central Park.

That’s right, the R.O.U.S have arrived in New York.

One clever commenter pointed out yesterday that “It’s only so long before “Marticore Man Maulings” make headlines.”

At this point we wouldn’t be all that surprised.

Now, as most who have lived in New York for any period of time could probably tell you, it was really only a matter of time before the rat population mutated. According to food cart owners and residents of the area where most of the R.O.U.S. sighting have taken place, there could be a number of reasons for the rats migration/mutation. Unsurprisingly, most of them involve food. The residents blame the food carts and the tourists; the food cart owners blame the food left behind by the horse-drawn carriages.

All of this just brings up a lot of questions:

Should we be worried about Central Park turning into a Fire Swamp? And where is Westley when you need him?

What do you think we should we be on the lookout for next? Dragons? Dinosaurs? Maenads?

Personally, I think we’ll need a combination of Leslie Knope and Buffy Summers to solve this one, New York City government.

(io9 via UPI)

(Photo via Ebaums World)