You’re Not Truly Relaxed Until a Python Named Walter Gives You a “Massage”
"Let's start with the neck..."
Imagine: you walk into a spa, prepared to get a nice relaxing rubdown, and what does your masseur turn out to be but a 20 foot Burmese python?! Total chill-killer, right? Maybe not — apparently visitors to the Cebu City Zoo in the Philippines just love being buried under a pile of snakes.
Caters News say the pythons used in the experience weigh around 550 pounds and grow up to twenty feet. But don’t worry, each snake is fed 10 or more chickens before the massage so they’re supposedly too interested in digesting to want to end the treatment with a snack. They’re also named Michelle, Walter, EJ and Daniel, so at least they sound non-threatening.
The massage is reportedly free for anyone who is interested in having a swarm of very heavy snakes hold them tighter than their true love. I’m not going to cast any aspersions on the credibility of this zoo except to say that in spite of the relaxation that the Daily Mail says the “flickering of tongue on skin” can offer, the pythons are probably not licensed masseurs. Except for maybe Michelle.
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