Man Asked His Fiancée to Lose Weight Before Their Wedding. She Waited Ten Years for Him to Propose: ‘With All Due Disrespect…’

Marriage is one of the most important decisions anyone could ever make. It wouldn’t be reasonable to rush into proposing, so some people take their time. But what if a man makes a woman wait just to make losing weight his ultimatum for the wedding? Derrick Jaxn (@derrickjaxn), host of the Better Convos Podcast, couldn’t keep his face from twisting.

Jaxn takes calls from listeners to hear about their problems. He answered the call of a man who just lost his fiancée of ten years. The caller hoped Jaxn could give advice to him so that he could win her back.

“First off, why did she call off the wedding?” Jaxn asked. Calling off a wedding is a difficult decision to make, especially since they had a ten-year relationship. But what the man said next made Jaxn squint.

“Apparently, it’s because I asked her to lose a little weight before the wedding,” he said. Jaxn paused to process the information.

“And how much is a little?” Jaxn asked in clarification. Evidently, he looked surprised that this man would even ask his partner to do such a thing before the wedding.

“Maybe 40 to 50 pounds. That’s all I asked.” By any means, this is not just a bit of weight. Jaxn was visibly taken aback, but he continued the conversation. He asked her how much his fiancée weighed when they had first met. The man estimated that his ex weighed 135 pounds when they’d first met but grew to 180.

She gained weight because of him

“I don’t want her to get to 200,” the man said, stating that he weighs that much. He didn’t want his fiancée to be the same weight because he “wasn’t into that.” At this point, Jaxn was cringing, quietly listening but disturbed at what the man on the other end of the line was rambling on about.

“Ten years of y’all dating. Kids or no kids?” Jaxn cut the man off to clarify. The man confirmed that they didn’t have one, but two children, ages seven and three. It was already distasteful for the man to be frustrated by his fiancée’s weight gain, but to know that it’s because she had children with him makes the whole situation even more upsetting. He’s practically the reason behind her weight gain.

“She’s had plenty of time to get the baby weight off,” the man commented. It’s almost as if he doesn’t understand that weight fluctuations are a part of life—especially for a woman who has had two children. It was evident that the man wanted his fiancée to lose weight for his aesthetic preferences. He came on Jaxn’s show thinking he would be met with sympathy.

What made her call the wedding off

But the man wasn’t done with his speech. He revealed the part of his ultimatum that probably sent his ex-fiancée running.

“That’s why I told her that in order for us to get married, she’d need to drop back down to around 130, like where I first met her, and as part of the prenup, I need her to agree to keep it there,” he said. The man does not understand where he went wrong.

“So, in reality, you didn’t just ask her to lose the weight. You made her losing the weight kind of like an ultimatum for you to even go through with the marriage, even after ten years of her waiting for you to propose, right?” the podcaster grilled the caller.

But the man was unfazed, justifying his perspective with sexist rhetoric.

“Men are visual creatures. Nobody wants to admit this, but I want my wife to look for me the same way I want to look good to her. And I want us both to be healthy,” he said. But is it healthy to make a woman drastically lose weight over a wedding? Jaxn wasn’t buying the man’s defense.

Podcaster loses it on his caller

“With all due disrespect,” Jaxn cut in, “her calling off the wedding was probably the healthiest thing she could have ever done. ‘Cause if you was really concerned with your ex-fiancée’s health, you would’ve started with her mental health. You would’ve started with whether or not she was possibly battling depression,” Jaxn said. Because not only has she become a mother, but she also has a partner that’s now hounding her over her weight.

“By the sounds of things if she’s been with you for this long, she definitely was stressed out,” he added, no longer having it with the caller. Jaxn further expressed that if the man cared about his fiancée, they would’ve taken it up with the doctor to see if there was anything wrong with her hormones or her heart. At times, medical issues are at the root cause of weight gain.

Jaxn called the man out for using the marriage as bait for his fiancée to conform to his standard of beauty. But even the podcaster acknowledged that the man didn’t care enough, as he’s taken ten years to even propose to her. It’s commendable for people to think long and hard about marriage—but after two kids, shouldn’t things be clear? Apparently not for this man.

“I say she did herself a favor. I’m not helping you get her back at all,” Jaxn said, believing that the man had wasted his fiancée’s time. He then turned to his cameras to give a message to the ex.

“Sis, if you’re watching this, I commend you, because your ex told you to lose 40, 50 pounds?” then he quipped, “and you overachieved by losing all 200 pounds of his dumbass. So, congratulations.”

(featured images: Uriel Mont, Derrick Jaxn, Ellie Burgin)

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