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Kitchen Overlord Has a Recipe for Custom Candy Hearts That Don’t Taste Like Chalky Ass

Unless you like chalky ass. Then do whatever you want.

Poison Ivy Smooch

It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow. If you’re out shopping for just the right kind of candy heart but don’t like gnawing on chalk or passing on canned sentiment, then may we suggest making your own? Our friends over at Kitchen Overlord have this handy guide to custom culinary caring confections. And great news: they’re really easy.

Candy hearts are a staple of Valentine’s Day, but come on. They’re gross. Spend a little time making your own. All you need is some icing, sugar, and gelatin. You can even throw in some other flavors or colors. They’re your hearts. Do with them what you will. You can even write your own clever romantic sayings.

As for getting them into cool comic-booky shapes like Poison Ivy’s “smooch,” the Kitchen Overlord’s new minion Sarah, who wrote this recipe, even has instructions on making your own custom cookie cutters from a milk jug and a hot glue gun.

So check out the full recipe and instructions over on the Kitchen Overlord blog and go forth and make some candy hearts that don’t suck.

(via Kitchen Overlord)

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Glen is a comedian, writer, husband, and father. He won his third-grade science fair and is a former preschool science teacher, which is a real job.