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  1. A Dark Day In Riverdale: Archie To Die A Violent Death In Upcoming Issue

    Everyone pour out a chocolate malted in tribute.

    Excuse me if the above image makes me miss the simpler stories of my youth: Archie Comics CEO John Goldwater says Riverdale's everyman Archie Andrew will meet his maker in an upcoming issue of Life With Archie, and judging from the cover, his demise may be disturbingly adult.

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  2. Pennsylvania Man Survives Chainsaw to the Neck, Lives to Tell About It, Earns Geekosystem’s Admiration

    We haven't 100% ruled out that he's really a Highlander though.

    Just another normal day on the job, doing your usual tasks, sawing some wood, when suddenly the chainsaw you're using gets out of control and attacks your neck. That usually ends in tragedy, but for James Valentine of Pennsylvania it ends in everyone thinking you're a total badass. He survived.

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  3. Science Can Use Your Blood To Determine If Your Death Is Imminent

    I don't know if I'd even want to know.

    You know how you're supposed to live life to the fullest because any moment could be your last? Turns out, science may have figured out a way to pin that time-frame down a bit for you. With new blood tests, researchers from Finland and Estonia think they can tell whether or not you're going to live beyond the next five years.

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  4. Be Buried in Bacon Coffin After Dying at an Early Age Because of Your Love for Bacon

    You might want to get one a size up, though. You know, cuz of all that bacon you'll be eating.

    Okay, that's it, Internet. You've ruined bacon for me. Seriously, I was with y'all when it came to the bacon jewelry and the bacon flavored jelly beans and the bacon vodka and the bacon suits -- but this bacon coffin? This is too much. Shut it down.

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  5. How and Why I’m Donating My Body to Science

    I don't plan on ever dying, but it's good to have a backup plan.

    I might die some day. I know. I'm bummed too. Hopefully not anytime soon, but I started thinking about my post-death options recently after a relative's funeral. While "never die ever" is still at the top of my list, I've decided that donating my body to science should be my alternative. It's not like I'm going to be doing anything with it after I'm dead. I might as well help science.

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  6. Things We Saw Today: Someone Managed To Improve The Excellent The Wolverine Poster

    Things We Saw Today

    The Wolverine struggled through some pretty bad posters before arriving back at the striking sumi-e inspired portraits of its characters. It seems that graffiti artist Poster Boy NYC believed that Logan could look even more intimidating in the poster, however, with the help of some strategic subway poster vandalism. (via Co.Create)

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  7. Make It Count, Dude: Spider Species Dies After Having Sex

    Male dark fishing spiders have just one roll in the hay in them. After mating, the arachnids immediately curl up and die.

    I know the human dating game can seem rough at times, but the fact of the matter is, we have it pretty good. Don't believe me? Consider if you will the sorry state of Dolomedes tenebrosus, the dark fishing spider. A recent study of the spiders, common around the American midwest, found that males of the species get a grand total of one shot at breeding -- immediately after copulation, their work on this Earth done, the creatures promptly curl up and die.

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  8. Russian Airliner Makes Seven Trips With Dead Guy Frozen in Wheel Well

    This is normally where we'd make a joke about this, but it seems a bit morbid.

    Russian authorities probably knew to expect nothing good when they found blood splatters near the wheel well of an Airbus 330 passenger plane operated by iFly airlines. They probably still weren't prepared for the implications of what they found, though -- a 22-year-old Georgian man dead and frozen in the plane's wheel well. What's worse? An autopsy showed that the unfortunate young man, Giorgio Abduladze, had been dead for four days, and made as many as seven trips as a deceased stowaway before his body was discovered last week. 

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  9. What Happens to Your Email When You Die? Google’s Got a Solution

    There are a lot of ways people can prepare for death. With things like life insurance and wills you can make sure your loved ones are taken care of, or at least not fighting over your stuff, but what happens to your virtual stuff when you die? Should your Google Docs live on even after you're gone, or should they self destruct and join you in the sweet hereafter? Now with Google's Inactive Account Manager, you can decide what happens to your digital life after your corporeal one is over.

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  10. Game of Thrones Death Generator Predicts How You Would Die in Westeros

    There are a lot of things I love about Game of Thrones -- the political intrigue, the astounding sets and costumes, the characters you can't help but love even when you should probably kind of hate them. But if I'm being honest, the creative violence that is the calling card of the series is right near the top of its virtues list. George R.R. Martin isn't afraid to kill off any character at the drop of a hat, and he can usually be counted on to do so in a novel, or at least quite graphic, fashion. Death is a big part of life in Westeros, and the fine folks over at Vulture have recognized this fact by putting together a random death generator for the series that shows some of the many ways you can go to your grave in Westeros. You can see some of the best ways to bow out below, but beware -- potential spoilers lay ahead if you're not caught up. Also: Why aren't you caught up, the new season starts in like three days, get your head right!

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