YOU STILL CAN’T SIT WITH US. Listen, I get that you think we’re “friends” or whatever after I introduced you to the most popular male anime characters of all time, but we’re not. I shouldn’t even be seen talking with you. I felt bad because you’re the new kid (and because you really need some new shoes) and I thought I would do a good deed and make you feel popular before you have to go back to the uncool kids and actually study.
So why aren’t you leaving? You don’t seriously think I’ll introduce you to the popular girls, do you? Ugh you’re so frustrating! Okay, fine. But we’re not going up to them. We’re gonna sit here and pretend to eat our lunch and I’m gonna tell you who they are if you promise not to look at them. Okay so the first one is—I SAID DON’T LOOK!
10. Power
Okay so the first girl is Power. She’s a new kid like you, but don’t let that get your hopes up or something. She’s way more popular than you’ll ever be. Her popularity is skyrocketing with the release of the first episode of Chainsaw Man. Everybody thought Makima was gonna be the most popular girl from that show. She’s the main antagonist after all. But life just isn’t fair is it? Some kids are popular, some kids are *shudders* normal. Maybe it’s the devil horns that made her such a hit? Probs the devil horns.
9. Ryuko Matoi
Okay so Ryuko Matoi from Kill La Kill has only has like one outfit. But it isn’t because she’s one of the poor kids, it’s because that sailor suit is literally all that she’ll wear. Why? Because it’s the source of her power. It’s alive. And she’s friends with it. She definitely could have been one of the weird kids since she talks to it all the time, but for some reason people love her. I think it’s her attitude. She has this “I’m gonna hurt you” energy and all the other kids are really into it.
8. Nobara Kugisake
See the girl hammering nails into the table? That’s Nobara. In case you’re wondering, she’s not some weird wood-shop kid. She’s a transfer from Jujutsu High. You know, the school in Jujutsu Kaisen? She carries that hammer around because she uses it to kill cursed spirits. She’ll also totally use it on anyone who pisses her off. Honestly a lot of the popular girls are popular because they’re like … really violent. It’s just an anime thing I guess?
7. Violet Evergarden
Okay see that sweet faced girl clacking away at her typewriter next to Nobara? She’s adorable, right? Bet you think she couldn’t hurt a fly? Well if her old commanding officer told her to, she’d kill every fly on the planet with a flamethrower. Then everything else. I heard a rumor that Violet Evergarden was once a soldier in a bloody war, and that she’s killed lots of people. Checks out with the whole popular = murder theme, right? This girl is so popular she has a whole show named after her. And all she does is write letters for people! Talk about a career pivot.
6. Taiga Aisaka
Taiga Aisaka is only like 4’11” but she will cut you. She has a boyfriend, but he isn’t nearly as popular as she is. Probably because he isn’t as bloodthirsty. They met over the course of the anime Torardora. Their relationship is actually really sweet, and he’s like the only person she’s ever vulnerable with. Don’t tell her I said that though. She will kill me, you, and a random third person she doesn’t care who.
5. Winry Rockbell
See the girl taking a screwdriver to that prosthetic metal arm? That’s Winry, and fixing up prosthetics is basically her entire life. She’s from the anime Full Metal Alchemist. You’ve def heard of Edward Alric right? That’s her bf. He’s got a metal arm and leg, and she’s the only one he trusts to fix them up. It’s really cute. She’s not violent per se, but she’s technically complicit to it cause her bf uses his prosthetics to kick people’s asses.
4. Saber
See the blonde girl sharpening an invisible sword? That’s Saber. Well, her real name is Arturia Pendragon, but everyone calls her Saber. Because she will also cut you. With her invisible sword. Yes, it’s actually invisible. And yes, she’s used it on lots of people. She was summoned by a sorcerer to help win a battle royale for the Holy Grail over the course of Fate/Zero. Don’t worry, she’s not super short tempered like the other girls at the table. But she’s also way deadlier. So don’t piss her off, ‘kay?
3. Makise Kurisu
Makise Kurisu is the smartest girl in school. Any school. She’s a literal genius. She spent the entirety of Steins;Gate helping work on a time machine. This girl is so smart that the government wants to kill her because they’re worried about the things that she can create. Actually, a lot of people want to kill her. Preventing her death is kinda the entire plot of the anime? I guess a lot of people wanting to kill you is also a marker of popularity? You’re a popular target? Idk. Just don’t sneak up on her. She’s a little jumpy. Wonder why?
2. Mikasa Ackerman
Okay, now see the other girl sharpening a sword? That’s Mikasa Ackerman from Attack On Titan. She’s probably the deadliest girl at the table. She can massacre sixty foot tall monstrosities and not even get blood on her uniform. And see that scarf she’s wearing? That’s her step-brother/crush’s scarf. Yeah, it’s a complicated relationship. She will kill anything and everything just to keep that guy safe. He’s kind of the reason for her entire existence. She’s totally in love with him. I think she’s super popular because people fantasize about what it would be like to have someone love them that much. A murder-y amount. Kinda romantic, no?
1. Sailor Moon and the Sailor Guardians
I know what you’re thinking, Mikasa is the last girl at the popular girl table right? Yeah, but that’s the less popular popular girl table. Look over her shoulder. See those girls? The ones in the matching sailor uniforms? Those are the most popular anime girls in history, from the anime Sailor Moon. And see that blonde girl sitting in the middle of them all? That’s Sailor Moon herself. She’s in an entirely different league than the other popular girls in this school. She’s the original magical girl. She’s been the face of magical girl anime since the 90s. And she totally breaks the popular girl mold, or I guess the less popular girls break her mould. She isn’t violent. She fights monsters, sure, but really she just wants everything in the universe to find love. It’s so cute.
Sailor Saturn on the other hand will totally cut you with her scythe. She’s the sailor of death and destruc- SERIOUSLY I SAID DON’T LOOK.
(Featured image: MAPPA)
