Priest Says New LEGO Sets Teach Children About “The World Of Death”

Everything is awesome a vessel for the Dark Beast.

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LEGO may seem like one of the most inoffensive children’s products on the market. But Polish Priest Father Kostrzewa, who once described My Little Pony as “a carrier of death,” warns parents that some new sets will “lead children to the dark side.” Listen, Father, we all want the Dr. Who set to become a reality, but anger will get us nowhere!

The Telegraph reported yesterday that Kostrzewa expressed his concerns in a presentation for parents, warning that LEGO is shifting into dark territory and imperiling children’s souls. However, the anti-LEGO crusader doesn’t universally condemn the building blocks,  just the recent release of Monster Fighters and zombie Mini-figs, which as you can see are pretty rad.

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“Friendly fellows have been replaced by dark monsters,” warns Kostrzewa of Lord Vamypre and his quest to cloak “the world in darkness.” Says Kostrzewa,

These toys can have a negative effect on children. They can destroy their souls and lead them to the dark side. Facial expressions may be lead to confusion between good and evil. It appears the good suffer in battle and the ‘villains’ have a face showing satisfaction with their evil deeds.

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Kostrzewa also quoted a study done by Canterbury University in 2013 that claims the faces of LEGO minifigs have grown increasingly angrier since they were introduced in 1975. The research concluded that “the trend is for an increasing proportion of angry faces, with a concomitant reduction in happy faces.” Obviously the leap from “reduction in happy faces” to “demonic forces at work” is a big one. Perhaps minifigs’ ability to rotate their head 360 degrees is Kostrzewa’s real concern?

Regardless, parents probably have bigger Jesus fish to fry when it comes to protecting their children’s eternal souls. Child psychologist Monika Filipowska said to Polish newspaper Super Express, “These are just blocks. Linking them to Satan is just wrong, and all that will happen is that children will be afraid of them now.”

As the Canterbury study points out, there’s an average of 75 LEGO blocks per human on Earth. If some sort of scary doll type possession were to occur, we’d definitely need Monster Fighters to save our immortal soul-butts.

(The Guardian via Uproxx , images via Amazon)

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