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Why Ramapo College of New Jersey Needs Me to Write Their Twitter Account

I graduated from Ramapo College and loved it there, but their Twitter account is a mess. They need to let me write it for them.


I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Contemporary Arts from Ramapo College of New Jersey, which is basically the middle child of New Jersey state schools. It’s a beautiful campus in Mahwah, New Jersey, and I loved it there. Despite it taking a back seat to schools like Rutgers, I’m very proud of Ramapo — at least I was until I saw their Twitter account. Please, Ramapo. Let me write your tweets.

We’re in the process of hiring interns here at Geekosystem, and since I used to work in the office at Ramapo that handles internship placements it made me start thinking about my college, so I posted a question on Twitter:

It turns out that they do, but it’s not @ramapo. That appears to be some parked account. The official Ramapo College Twitter account is @RamapoCollegeNJ, and as far as Twitter accounts go, I’m not impressed:

They’re all like that. So I made Ramapo an offer on Twitter:

It’s important to tell people when your Microsoft Office 2010 certification information sessions are being held, but Twitter gives you an opportunity to really engage with your audience, and that’s where Ramapo’s Twitter account falls short. You should have an account your students actually want to follow.

When I performed at Nebraska’s Wayne State College earlier this year I noticed that whoever is running their Twitter account is doing a tremendous job — even though they wouldn’t promise to give me an honorary doctorate:

That account regularly engages with students posting about the college, which is something Ramapo has done none of. It’s also entertaining, which is something Ramapo’s account is not. I spent years at Ramapo learning to be entertaining. Let me put those skills to work for you, Ramapo.

Use the Ramapo Twitter account to post pictures of campus, run on-campus contests, respond to student questions, or make jokes about things that happen at the school. Do something — anything — with it other than just posting about dull events every three or four days. Your Twitter account is boring, Ramapo College, and that’s the worst kind of Twitter account.

When I offered to write the school’s tweets for them I submitted a few samples:

So here’s the deal Ramapo. Let me — an alumnus of your fine institution — show off all the skills I learned while earning my Contemporary Arts degree, and give me the reins of your Twitter account for one day. What is Twitter if not a contemporary art?

I’ll come to campus and see what’s changed since I graduated. I will post pictures. I’ll talk to my old professors. I’ll even post about your dull Microsoft Office events if you want me to. Think of all the fun we could have together, Ramapo. So much fun.

You have nothing to lose here, because you’re barely using the account anyway. Hand it over. Just for a day. Then we can talk about my new permanent position as your tweet-writer.

I look forward to your call. You can get my number from the people who call me every month to ask if I want to donate money.

(Follow Ramapo College of New Jersey on Twitter, image via Cultural Documentation)

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Glen is a comedian, writer, husband, and father. He won his third-grade science fair and is a former preschool science teacher, which is a real job.