The Women’s March was an event that gave voice to the voiceless, united women of different backgrounds, and sent a clear message of protest. For many others, like J.R. Doporto, it was an opportunity to release the inner misogynist.
The city councilor in Carlsbad, New Mexico, went on Facebook to respond to the Women’s March with the statement:
“Just want to give a heads up to the women! You have rights! A right to cook and a right to clean! I suggest you stop your b!tch!ng/protesting during this time. Because you also have a right to get slapped!👌”
The post was on his private Facebook, but also public. In an effort to become even more of a parody of himself, Doporto proceeded to mock the reporter who interviewed him, reference and praise Donald Trump, and share a meme that reads “In one day, Trump got more fat women out walking than Michelle Obama did in 8 years.” He took down the post eventually and suspended his account, but not before screenshots were taken.
Making a joke out of domestic violence during a protest for women’s rights is, of course, not a good look and Doporto dealt with a huge amount of backlash as a result. Although anyone who spends time on the internet (or, like, one YouTube comment section) wouldn’t find this comment surprising, this was an especially frightening sentiment to see from an elected official.
He continued to defend his comment in an interview with the Santa Fe Reporter, where he insists his words were simply a harmless joke. He says, “I like to get under people’s skin, you know? Piss them off….I’ve never been charged with domestic violence. I think it’s wrong. It was merely a joke, and I think people are blowing it out of proportion.”
The interviewer pushes him further, pointing out that no one is disputing his right to say what he wants to say. Rather, they’re upset that an elected official is making sexist comments and joking about gender violence. Doporto, again, argues that “I don’t see no rights they don’t have that a man has” and angry that no one’s talking about his good deeds starts to list his own accomplishments which include being “involved with a lot of children’s activities,” a sports complex, and a water park “for women and their kids.” (Do….do men not go to water parks?)
The rhetoric Doporto uses is frustratingly familiar–he constantly cites his right to free speech, asserts that it’s simply his “opinion,” and writes it off as a joke people are being too oversensitive to push away any accountability. If you read the transcript, he keeps repeating himself and trying to establish an “agree to disagree” rapport.  The interviewer, Steven Hsieh, does not let him off the hook. Here’s my favorite exchange (Hsieh’s statements bolded):
The thing where I am being rude. Or I am being unprofessional. It might seem unprofessional to you, but some other people might not have a problem with it.
Right but, what you call unprofessional, other people might call sexist.
Right, exactly. We all have different opinions, you know?But that’s not an opinion. What you wrote is sexist.
I wish the interview had just ended on that amazing mic drop because it’s clear that Doporto thinks that sexism is a valid opinion, when really it’s blatant misogyny and ignorance. Instead, he goes on to say something about how Northern New Mexico and Southern New Mexico are different, and ends on this final note:
So, sexism. Men have had domestic violence against them. I don’t know where we draw the line. Look at our president, hell. He’s sexist every day. What’s this world coming to? It’s crazy.
Doporto said a lot of pretty horrible things and shared some lousy excuses, but this is especially frightening. Progress Now NM has started a petition asking him to resign, stating, “There’s no room for ‘casual misogyny’ in our state.” According to KOB 4, Doporto has been fired by his former employer, HollyFrontier Corporation. It looks like he’ll absolutely be held accountable for his actions, but the line between him feeling comfortable enough to say and defend those kinds of things in the first place and Trump’s seemingly consequence-free use of social media and hate speech is a pretty clear one.
Doporto continuously emphasizes that he has never been charged with domestic violence and that he thinks it’s wrong. Yet, he found his comment funny rather than a horrifying, not even thinly-veiled threat towards women trying to protest for their rights. It was a “put them back in their place” post.
Protecting victims of domestic violence, both male or female, should be a concern of his as a councilor (or, you know, a person with basic empathy). Instead, he chose to make a joke that normalizes the violence women face in their everyday lives. He felt protected in making that statement, and when confronted he pointed at our President and said, “Well, he does it too!” Likely, someone else is reading about his comments and feeling similarly protected in making threats and jokes at the expense of women’s safety.
In a KOB interview, Doporto asks “What is appropriate today as being an elected official? I mean you see Donald Trump tweeting all the time.” This is why we can’t dismiss things Trump says, and “look into his heart.” Obvious statement is obvious, but words have meaning and impact.
Does Doporto (and people who found this funny) understand that according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence that the numbers are devastating, with intimate partner violence accounting for 15% of violent crime? That in his own state, 1 in 3 New Mexican women have experienced domestic violence? How about the fact that women subjected to sexual violence from their spouses often don’t get the care they need because it’s seen as a household affair rather than a human rights violation?
So where do we draw the line? Let’s draw it where you’re not actively contributing to this culture of violence and then laughing at it. That seems like a bare minimum.
(via Huffington Post, Image via KOB4)
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