Nature Is Healing and We Bow Down to Our Boar Overlords
Nature is healing, and the boars are finally on the rise. Oh wait, is that not a normal part of nature? Boars don’t just run out of the ocean and attack humans for being at the beach instead of social distancing at home? Weird. Right now, with everyone inside, we’re seeing animals reclaim their rightful place—like the rats of the subway taking to the platforms or raccoons claiming our streets.
Boars are now running out of the ocean like this is an episode of LOST and terrorizing patrons of the beach. News outlets yesterday shared a video from a beach in Germany, where a boar was just swimming, and when someone tried to bother him, he charged—honestly, a mood I respect.
OUT OF THE WATER! This wild boar surprised sunbathers by the Baltic Sea in Germany, storming through a crowded beach as people scatter to clear a path. https://t.co/AaCuo3KV74 pic.twitter.com/jD7c8GYnqA
— ABC News (@ABC) August 13, 2020
Basically, animals are coming for revenge.
nature has healed and now it wants revenge pic.twitter.com/1nLrrSUcHY
— Jen (@deaths_cool) August 14, 2020
I like to think the boar knew about the threat of coronavirus in the world and decided to charge everyone not wearing masks.
Now, this isn’t the first time that the pig/hog/boar family has risen in the last year. Last August, everyone was worried about the 30-50 feral hogs who were attacking children playing outside. I guess now the feral hogs got their cousins, the boars, in on this, and they’re going to rise up all over the world and take over—and I, for one, am ready for our boar overlords to demand we do things by charging at us.
Jokes about nature “healing” with reduced human activity have been going around since dolphins appeared in the water in Venice and pollution all over the world was suddenly reduced.
Literally every single person right now since the climate is better and animals are claiming the land again because we’re all stuck inside: pic.twitter.com/K0gTlGYMMt
— rachel leishman (@RachelLeishman) April 14, 2020
Basically, 2020 is quite literally going to the animals. Maybe they’ll do a better job with it than the white male leaders that have dominated our power structure from the beginning. Or maybe we can just let goats lead the way or something like that. Whatever, if a boar charged at me on the beach, I think that I’d just let it happen at this point.
Or maybe go full John Locke when he killed that boar on LOST using a really tiny knife. Who knows, but one of those two options—that is, if I ever get to go back to a beach since we’re all going to be stuck inside for the rest of eternity thanks to everyone fighting each other about masks.
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