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Nature Is Healing and We Bow Down to Our Boar Overlords

Boar charging out of the ocean at beachgoers as boars do.

Nature is healing, and the boars are finally on the rise. Oh wait, is that not a normal part of nature? Boars don’t just run out of the ocean and attack humans for being at the beach instead of social distancing at home? Weird. Right now, with everyone inside, we’re seeing animals reclaim their rightful place—like the rats of the subway taking to the platforms or raccoons claiming our streets.

Boars are now running out of the ocean like this is an episode of LOST and terrorizing patrons of the beach. News outlets yesterday shared a video from a beach in Germany, where a boar was just swimming, and when someone tried to bother him, he charged—honestly, a mood I respect.

Basically, animals are coming for revenge.

I like to think the boar knew about the threat of coronavirus in the world and decided to charge everyone not wearing masks.

Now, this isn’t the first time that the pig/hog/boar family has risen in the last year. Last August, everyone was worried about the 30-50 feral hogs who were attacking children playing outside. I guess now the feral hogs got their cousins, the boars, in on this, and they’re going to rise up all over the world and take over—and I, for one, am ready for our boar overlords to demand we do things by charging at us.

Jokes about nature “healing” with reduced human activity have been going around since dolphins appeared in the water in Venice and pollution all over the world was suddenly reduced.

Basically, 2020 is quite literally going to the animals. Maybe they’ll do a better job with it than the white male leaders that have dominated our power structure from the beginning. Or maybe we can just let goats lead the way or something like that. Whatever, if a boar charged at me on the beach, I think that I’d just let it happen at this point.

Or maybe go full John Locke when he killed that boar on LOST using a really tiny knife. Who knows, but one of those two options—that is, if I ever get to go back to a beach since we’re all going to be stuck inside for the rest of eternity thanks to everyone fighting each other about masks.

(image: screengrab)

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Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. A writer her whole life but professionally starting back in 2016 who loves all things movies, TV, and classic rock. Resident Spider-Man expert, official Leslie Knope, actually Yelena Belova. Wanda Maximoff has never done anything wrong in her life. Star Wars makes her very happy. New York writer with a passion for all things nerdy. Yes, she has a Pedro Pascal podcast. And also a Harrison Ford one.