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Bic’s Line of Lady-Pens Get Hilariously Roasted in Amazon Reviews

A Series of Fallopian Tubes

If there’s one thing I’ve always found the most inconvenient about being a woman, it’s the flabbergasting lack of pens marketed for my delicate lady-fingers. Luckily, the marketing geniuses over at Bic have come along to save the day, and Bic’s “For Her” pens are a smash hit. At least, if Amazon UK is to be believed, what with its pages upon pages of reviews on the product. And by “smash hit,” I mean “every lady with writing fingers saw right through their ploy and responded in kind.” Click through the jump to read some of the hilarious reviews of the pens.

From J.B. Fan‘s Review, “It Saved My Marriage:”

So, my missus was having her weekly nagging session last week and then she throws this chestnut at me “You can’t possibly understand, you’re not a woman.” And then accused me of not being in touch with my feminine side.

I was depressed, she was right, I couldn’t possibly understand what she went through not having enough pink in the world. Then I discovered BIC ‘for her’ and I thought, why not give that a try, it’s not like I can be less ‘in touch with my feminine side’. The first time I sat down to use them, an amazing thing happened, the page filled with the most lovely swirly handwriting, hearts dotted my i’s and j’s and when I signed the letter I finished with “hugs & kisses”…. Next day, I woke up and had a shower and instead of leaving the towels in a damp pile on the bedroom floor…I put them in the laundry bin…

So thank you dear BIC, you saved my marriage by putting me in touch with my feminine side. Just one problem, the missus is now complaining that I’m using her posh face creams and wearing her clothes. I’ve also found myself fancying Rob down the local pub…and a couple other blokes at work. I imagine this is just an unfortunate side effect, but if the R&D dept could maybe look at that, that’d be a big help, ta.

Also, my manly hands did struggle a little to hold the pen since it’s so obviously designed for delicate womanly hands, but you quickly get used to that and the benefits far outweigh that.

And from kitchenwench:

I was recently given a box of these as a gift from my husband, but I have no idea what to do with them! They’re too thin to make a good rolling pin. I can’t ladle out my soups with them. And the tiny point doesn’t even make a dent when I try to use one to chop veggies! I don’t get it. If I can’t use it in the kitchen, what the hell am I supposed to do with one???

And Mr. Spluffypants:

I tried these on a whim, and I have to say I wasn’t very impressed. The applicator mechanism is far too fiddly, and the plastic tampon inside far too thin (not to mention uncomfortable and non-absorbant) – I’m sure there must be a knack to using them, but I couldn’t find it. They also stained my knickers blue for some reason. I really wanted to like these, but it’s back to pads for me.


With my special ‘woman’s hands’, made useless as a geisha’s feet with carbuncled rings and glittery acrylic nails, I have found the perfectprettypinkpuffballpen. Soft-as-swansdown and scented like kitten-wee (kittens force-fed-violet-and-rose-creams-like-veal), my joined-up-writing now benefits from daisies dotting the i’s and love-hearts for full stops. My literary life would be made perfect if BIC could now invent a pen that doesn’t even touch my petal skin but hovers in my lilac-stroking, Flake-posting paws like the badly-drawn butterflies that hover over my much-practised-yet-effortless-signature.

Our tip? Go read them all for yourself. They’re great.

(via Jezebel)


Have a tip we should know? [email protected]

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Alanna is a pop culture writer who works as the Weekend Editor for The Mary Sue, an entertainment writer for Bustle, and a freelancer for everywhere. She has a lot of opinions about Harry Potter and will 100% bully you into watching the shows that she loves. Don't worry, it's a sign of friendship.