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Be Wary of the Level 5 Goose, For He Is Violent and Has Claimed Platform 2 As His Own

Peace was never an option.

goose game knife

A new viral tweet is making the rounds and reminding us of 2019’s favorite indie hit Untitled Goose Game. Twitter user Steve Stewart-Williams shared a sign posted in the London Underground, which warns commuters of a violent goose on platform 2. Naturally we have lots of questions about this Level 5 goose warning. What are levels 1-4? What is this goose’s deal? And why has the station not called animal control and instead ceded an entire platform to this cranky goose?

For those of you who weren’t extremely online in 2019, Untitled Goose Game was a surprisingly addictive game for PC, Mac, and Nintendo Switch, where the player is a goose whose mission is to torment and disrupt the residents of a village. It’s a simple game that launched a thousand memes and an intense goose-loving fandom. Soon fans were 3D printing their own geese, and the game’s developer House House launched a two-player mode for the double geese destruction. The bottom line: geese are bastards, and the world cannot get enough of their dickish shenanigans.

Here’s the thing: I’m kind of Team Goose on this one. After all, humanity has encroached on geese’s natural habitats, polluted their homes, and refused to stop chucking stale bread at their heads. If I were a goose, I’d be pissed off too. Maybe angry enough to claim my own subway platform. After all we’ve done to nature and the geese, maybe they can have this win. All the platforms are belong to goose.

Many folks took to Twitter to offer their own thoughts on dangerous geese and geese warning levels:

(featured image: House House/Panic, Inc.)

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Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.