Michael Bay Developing Ghost Recon Movie, Most Likely to Punish Us for Something
At this point, the ninth circle of Hell has probably been replaced with a TV constantly looping Pearl Harbor.
Today is a great day for being sad! Director Michael Bay feels that he hasn’t done enough to ruin the franchises you once loved by removing all trace of logic from them and throwing in a whole bunch of mindless action clichés. Now he’s announced that he is teaming up with Warner Brothers and Ubisoft to develop a movie based on the Tom Clancy: Ghost Recon series. Oh, the explosions. Can you even imagine the explosions?
The Ghost Recon series first began in 2001, which, if you’ll remember, is exactly when Bay rose to the height of fame with his film Pearl Harbor, which is about very dumb U.S. military members who are thrust into conflict with a foreign power, and also a lot of stuff gets blown up. Ghost Recon is supposed to be about a fictional special force team of highly trained tactical shooters, but my guess is that the movie version will instead be about very dumb U.S. military members who will be thrust into conflict with a foreign power (the original game features Russia heavily, but my money’s on North Korea, since action movies seem to really hate Koreans right now), and also a lot of stuff will get blown up.
Right now it’s unclear whether Michael Bay himself will be directing this movie or be producing it. Personally I hope he directs it, because I am a huge fan of so-bad-they’re-good video game movies, and I feel like it just won’t be the same without Bay at the helm. He hasn’t directed any game-inspired films yet to date, of course, but he seems like the type of person who would enjoy the 1992 film Street Fighter unironically, so he’s clearly the man for the job.
Hey, speaking of which, Street Fighter is technically also a war film… think we can petition to get the line “The war is cancelled,” into the Ghost Recon script somewhere? Maybe there’s even a part for Kylie Minogue in there? An evil military officer could fly around the Communist base in a fancy electric suit, perhaps? I’m just spitballing here.