Wisconsin Teen Mom in a ‘Throuple’ Claims ‘No One Loves Her.’ In The Past, She Allegedly Grabbed Mountain Dew Can and Went for Her Partner’s B***s
Emotional baggage.
Teen mom Emma Spencer, 17, from Kenosha, Wisconsin, is now facing felony child abuse charges after allegedly attacking her two-year-old daughter and her boyfriend during a meltdown over their “throuple” relationship. According to a criminal complaint, Spencer lashed out after claiming “no one loves her” in the polyamorous arrangement, which had only been active for three days.
According to Law and Crime, the incident unfolded on July 7 when Spencer’s boyfriend confronted her about hitting their daughter in the face while the child played with a teddy bear. Spencer responded by saying she “didn’t want to have a baby anymore” and had never wanted one. She then turned her anger toward her boyfriend, punching him repeatedly in the chest. During a previous argument, she had also allegedly thrown a Mountain Dew can at him and punched him in the groin.
The other woman in the relationship, who had moved in just days earlier, told investigators she witnessed both attacks. Spencer and her boyfriend had been together for three years before introducing the third partner, but tensions escalated quickly. The complaint notes that Spencer had been seeing a therapist for mental health struggles, including issues with her “grip on reality,” but her mother had refused to consent to medication.
Understanding the emotional strain behind polyamorous relationships
Spencer is now being held at the Kenosha County Jail on charges of felony child abuse, misdemeanor battery domestic abuse, and disorderly conduct domestic abuse. In Wisconsin, 17-year-olds are automatically prosecuted as adults, regardless of the crime.
The case highlights the emotional strain that can come with polyamorous relationships, especially when one partner feels sidelined. While Spencer’s situation is extreme, it reflects broader challenges faced by people navigating non-monogamy – particularly when boundaries are unclear or feelings of insecurity arise.
Polyamory, once seen as a fringe lifestyle, has become more mainstream in recent years. According to Women’s Health, research has found that 3% of Brits identify as polyamorous, with another 10% open to the idea. Dating apps like Feeld, designed for alternative relationship styles, report that nearly a third of UK users list ethical non-monogamy (ENM) or polyamory in their profiles.
The trend isn’t limited to younger generations either. At least 41% of Gen Xers express interest, followed by 36% of millennials. But as polyamory grows in popularity, so do the emotional pitfalls. Therapists have coined the term “tolyamory” to describe situations where people tolerate non-monogamy out of fear of losing their partner, rather than genuine desire. This can lead to resentment, burnout, and even mental health struggles.
Psychosexual therapist Lucy Frank notes that uneven power dynamics and emotional labor are common issues in polyamorous relationships. “It’s not just about logistics,” she says. “It’s the ongoing work of staying connected, honest, and accountable with multiple partners at once.”
Therapists warn that polyamory can feel like grief when trust is broken
“When you lose trust that your partner will keep you safe, it destabilizes the relationship and your mental health,” Frank explains. For women in particular, the pressure to accept non-monogamy, even when they’d prefer monogamy, can be intense. Deepa, a 43-year-old Londoner, found herself in this position after her divorce. “I would prefer to be monogamous, but the dating pool is awful,” she says. “It’s either accept non-monogamy or date average men.”
The emotional strain isn’t always one-sided. Jemma Hardelle, a relationship therapist who specializes in non-monogamy, says she’s seen a rise in perimenopausal women exploring polyamory as a way to reclaim agency in their relationships. “They don’t want to take a backseat,” she explains.
“Rising divorce rates show that traditional models don’t always work, so they want to try something different.” But Hardelle also cautions that polyamory isn’t a fix for existing relationship problems. “If there’s already distance between you, introducing more people can widen that gap.”
Clear communication is key
For those considering polyamory, experts emphasize the importance of clear communication and boundaries. Hardelle recommends a “traffic-light system” to define what’s acceptable – green for “yes,” amber for “maybe,” and red for “no.” She also advises asking yourself whether the arrangement is truly for you or for your partner. “Polyamory should add to your relationship, not erode it,” she says. “A secure relationship is the key.”
Spencer’s case is a stark reminder of what can happen when emotions spiral out of control. While most polyamorous relationships don’t end in violence, the underlying tensions – feelings of neglect, insecurity, and unmet needs – are common. For Spencer, the meltdown came after just three days in a throuple. For others, the emotional toll builds over months or years.
If there’s a lesson here, it’s that polyamory isn’t a quick fix or a way to avoid hard conversations. It requires honesty, self-awareness, and a willingness to check in with yourself, and your partners, regularly. Without those things, even the most well-intentioned arrangements can unravel. And as Spencer’s story shows, the consequences can be devastating.
(Featured image: RDNE Stock project on Pexels.)
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