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Things We Saw Today: Aquaman Help Us, It’s Sharknado 5 Night

We will be beholden to future generations to explain why there was a Sharknado 1-4, but tonight, put your feet up and treat yourself to some additional sharks flying through the air to chomp people whole.

The Sharknado marketing team over at SYFY has gone sharks-to-the-wall and as such it’s impossible to be on Twitter today without seeing stuff like this go by:

It’s all happening. And by “all” I mean the attack of a tornado of sharks arriving to chew on people around the globe in a 5th made-for-TV movie about a tornado of sharks. I don’t know how to explain this to future generations, either. “Just watch,” we’ll say. “Trust us,” we’ll say. “Where are you going,” we’ll say.

  • If you feel like getting mad about the Hollywood wage gap, Sharknado 5 star Ian “Beverly Hills 90210‘s Steve Sanders” Ziering was paid $500,000 for his turn this time around the shark vortex, while Gal Gadot received $300,000 base pay for Wonder Woman. I just bit into a cardboard box with my mighty teeth and tore it apart. (via Screenrant)
  • The brilliant classicist Mary Beard received a torrent of Twitter abuse for her assertion that ancient Rome was ethnically diverse. A whole lot of people on Twitter deserve to caught in a sharknado. Might I suggest Sharknado 6: Social Media Swarm. (via The Guardian)
  • Caitlyn Jenner was spotted wearing a “Make America Great Again” Trump hat even after lambasting Trump for his attempt to ban transgender soldiers from the military. She’s totally sorry for being caught and swears she’s getting rid of the hat and it won’t happen again. Maybe the team at SYFY can get her a “Make America Bait Again” hat instead. (via Refinery29)
  • Vice President Mike “I Call My Wife ‘Mother'” Pence swears he’s there’s no way, no how that he’s gearing up for a 2020 Presidential run, even though Trump will likely have fallen to an investigational sharknado by then. (via NYTimes)

Which cartilaginous fish did you spot out in the atmosphere today, my friends?

(images: SYFY)

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Kaila is a lifelong New Yorker. She's written for io9, Gizmodo, New York Magazine, The Awl, Wired, Cosmopolitan, and once published a Harlequin novel you'll never find.