A Series of Things I Have Decided to Declare Are Back in Style

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In a baffling and strange piece, the New York Post has declared that boobs are back. “Where did they go?” you ask, looking down your shirt in fear. (Oh good, they’re still there.) Who knows, but they’re back! The way the article talk about boobs will make you wish you didn’t have any, but hey, it’s … almost slightly better than that weird “the butt is back” trend that had a weird racist undertone?

Anyway, the biggest takeaway from the article is that you can apparently just declare something is “back” and it qualifies as journalism, so here are some things we here at TMS now declare are back. It is law.

  • Forcing your potential suitors to defeat you in a footrace to win your hand, with losers facing execution
  • The friendly term “Chuckaboo”
  • Teddy Girl fashion
  • Forcing your potential suitors to answer three riddles to win your hand, with losers facing execution. If they plead, deny them mercy with a single imperious gesture
  • Head
  • Shoulders
  • Knees and Toes
  • Knees and Toes
  • Matrilineal inheritance
  • Forcing your suitors to choose the correct casket of three in some kind of morality lesson (losers facing execution is optional in this one)
  • Being nice
  • Shakespearean insults
  • Sneaking into the Monastery disguised as a boy to pursue the devout monk you love, but you’re actually a servant of the Devil sent to cause his ruin

What else is making a comeback?

(image: Sony Pictures Classic)

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