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British Burglar Gives Police The Runaround, Expands House Arrest Area To Whole Block

While being fitted for an ankle monitor -- the must-have spring accessory for any fashion forward petty criminal -- a 16-year-old burglar in the United Kingdom had a brainstorm, taking off for a brisk run around his block before returning. The young convict wasn't trying to escape his captors, though -- just irk them. By taking a dash around the neighborhood while his ankle monitor was being set, the hoodlum expanded the range of his own captivity.

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A Man Named ‘Success’ Fails to Avoid Jail Time for Counterfeiting Nintendo Games

Authorities in the U.K. recently apprehended a 41 year-old man for creating and selling thousands of counterfeit Nintendo games. Justin Success Brooks — Yes, that is his actual middle name, not a handle — made fake Wii, DS, and DSi game bundles from pirated software, selling 100-200 games on a single disc or cartridge for the price of one or two retail products. It sounds like a great deal for everybody... Except Nintendo, which eventually came after the man cutting into their business.

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U.K. Government Considering Requiring License to View Porn Online

U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron is considering enacting a policy that requires adults to opt-in to viewing porn online in the U.K., effectively creating a "porn license," if you will. Enacting the opt-in will, as you might've guessed, require ISPs to block porn by default.

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Report: U.K. Government Has Euthanized Over 800 Military Working Dogs

The U.K. Ministry of Defense has recently admitted that between 2002 and 2011, it has euthanized 807 dogs used by soldiers fighting overseas. The MoD says that while efforts are made to find homes for most of its working dogs, the canines used in combat have been harder house. This led to an incredible 125 dogs being put down in 2009 alone.

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Virgin Media is Doubling Customer Broadband Speeds for Free

In an inexplicably awesome and unexpected move, Virgin Media is going to start doubling all its customers' broadband speed for free, you know, just for kicks. Virgin Media already provides the fastest Internet available in the U.K. at 100 Mbps, but it looks like that speed is going to get even faster, and for free. I cannot stress that enough. The whole process will cost Virgin Media around $168.5 million, but I suppose the positive press might be worth that. They're also providing new hardware to anyone who'll need it to make the most of the speed boost. Also free of charge.

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U.K. Man Sets Fire To Apartment Trying to Turn Feces Into Gold, Receives Jail Time

Despite what you may have assumed, alchemy is not dead. While there's pretty much no doubt that it will never work, people are still trying it. Recently, Paul Moran from Northern Ireland attempted to put a twist on the old lead-into-gold trick by turning feces into gold. No word on whether this modification to the recipe was out of necessity or a indomitable sense of adventure. Either way, the process involved leaving feces, along with fertilizer, on top of a heater. While this process did not manage to transmute the feces into gold, it did manage to transmute his entire apartment into a blazing inferno.

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UK Ambulances Brace For Larger Patients

The BBC is reporting that U.K. ambulance services are having to upgrade their equipment to handle an increasing number of heavy patients. Wider and heavy-duty stretchers, lifting apparatus, and automobile reinforcements are among some of the purchases. One London-based ambulance firm has purchased two "bariatric" vehicles with a third on the way.

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