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The Farting Policeman: Officer’s Flatulence Helps Bust Pot Grow-Op

You'll make Sergeant for this, Officer Fart Cop.

Today in Top Notch Police Work news, police in Britain sniffed out an outdoor marijuana farm and brought the operation to a halt -- and it was all thanks to the rank farts of one of their colleagues.

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Romanian Lawyer Sues Exorcists For Failing to Banish Fart Demons

People sue each other for all kinds of crazy things. Modern society has a reputation for it -- usually for things like spilled coffee, disturbing items found in fast food burgers, or for failure to stop someone from falling in love. But right now, Romania takes the cake for the stinkiest lawsuit ever. See, a lawyer in Pitesti, Romania, is suing an Orthodox bishop and four priests for failing to exorcise the "flatulent demons" from his home. You probably read that right, but let me rephrase for clarity. He's suing them for not getting rid of his fart devils.

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Federal Worker Receives Formal Reprimand for Flatulence

Farting while in the presence of others is an age-old tradition. Certain comedians have made a fair chunk of change off of similar comedic gestures. South Park wouldn't be what it is today without fart jokes. Still, letting one go with coworkers nearby is perhaps the worst kind of workplace sin. Nobody wants to smell what you ate, digested, and are preparing to "part" with. Federal employees are no exception. According to a letter dated December 10th, one federal worker for the Social Security Administration has been officially reprimanded for "uncontrollable flatulence." That's not the weirdest part.

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Australia May Kill Farting Camels To Curb Global Warming

Farting camels make global warming worse, death to the camels! It would be nice if there was something (anything?) that we could blame for climate change, other than human actions. But, farting camels? What seems like a ridiculous farting farce, is actually a real plan being considered by officials in Australia to kill camels for their alleged role in global warming.

The idea is that killing camels, who release methane gas when they fart, would solve global warming in Australia because their farting has a serious impact on the country's carbon emissions. The International Society of Camelid Research Development (ISOCARD), has called the proposed camel-cull "stupid," and an "abomination of science," in addition to declaring that it would make camels scape-goats for a man-made problem.

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Farting Could Be Outlawed In Malawi

A new law being proposed in the African nation of Malawi would ban farting. If enacted, president Bingu wa Mutharika's government will be faced with the odorous task of determining if who smelled it did was the person who, in fact, dealt it. From The Daily Mail:

But locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as 'criminals' attempt to blame others for their offence.
Of course, this new law is not only about farting. It will also ban several other behaviors that, while not all as loopy as the headlining law, certainly do make up quite the mixed bag of offenses. Again, from the Mail:
These include insulting the modesty of a woman, challenging to fight a duel, and trespassing on a burial place. It also outlaws pretending to be a fortune teller, according to local press in the country.
Should the law pass, Malawi will join the ranks of other lands that have sought refuge from the terrors of the human digestive system. Places like Florida. (via The Daily Mail, image via Wikipedia)

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