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Someone Please Explain to Me Why This Razor Has Boobs

Also it's a robot. A robot razor with full breasts.

Gendered marketing can be frustrating for many reasons: tons of products are unisex and yet we insist on assigning them colors, styles, and packaging that differentiates them for use between men and women. Often, the products for women cost considerably more than their male counterparts (the “pink tax“). And now, thanks to Schick, we can finally picture an anthropomorphic razor with a well-defined bosom.

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Good morning! Marvel at the brief advert for Schick’s Hydro Silk “Robot Razors” and ponder why, exactly, the bosomy anatomy on the Lara Croft-esque adventuring women’s razor blade was requisite. If you understand, I humbly beg that you explain this artistic choice to me.

Otherwise, the ad is kind of cute, and at least our Lady Razor jumps, flips, and actions her way through ruins. She’s not cooking or vacuuming while holding a tiny Baby Razor (for that baby fuzz).

But while Schick was careful to avoid some of the stereotype traps that gendered marketing often falls into, what the hell were they thinking when they gave the Hydro Silk prominent breasts? It’s. A. Razor.

The razor is already an electric pink. We get that it’s marketed towards women, because in the land of advertisements I have yet to see a product that is pink and not instantly identifiable as such. They really couldn’t make an anthropomorphic, tomb-raiding razor without the boobs? Consider the men’s version of this same product pitch:

The Male Razor—I can’t believe I just typed those words—fights an evil Old Fashioned Razor without either of them displaying bulging razor anatomy. Why couldn’t the pink razor have simply been rendered in the same sexless way, but pink, to show that, you know, it’s for girls?

I keep thinking about how many ad sales concept mock-ups there must’ve been and the hard work from animators who had to fashion this pink robot razor chest. I imagine the marketing meetings: “What cup size would a Schick Hydro Silk have?” The layers of approval and sign-offs the advert received. The time and care that went into this razor’s breasts.

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All to create a razor with boobs so that you don’t confuse it with the bad-guy-fighting dude razor when you were in the drug store aisle. Oh yes, you’d think. The pink one is for me. I remember now. The one with the perfectly rounded breasts that are weirdly emphasized and the slender, tapered waist. Thank God, otherwise, I could not have chosen a razor. 

I’m tired, friends. So very, very tired.

(images: screengrab)

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Kaila Hale-Stern (she/her) is a content director, editor, and writer who has been working in digital media for more than fifteen years. She started at TMS in 2016. She loves to write about TV—especially science fiction, fantasy, and mystery shows—and movies, with an emphasis on Marvel. Talk to her about fandom, queer representation, and Captain Kirk. Kaila has written for io9, Gizmodo, New York Magazine, The Awl, Wired, Cosmopolitan, and once published a Harlequin novel you'll never find.