comScore Pony Paternity Scandal Finds Dancing Socks Not the Father | The Mary Sue

Sorry, Scamp, Socks the Moonwalking Shetland Pony is Not Your Moonwalking Shetland Father

We all want a dancing pony to be our dad. I'm human and I want a dancing pony to be my dad, and my dad's great. He's just not a pony.



The picture above shows Socks, the Internet famous Shetland pony known for his sweet dance moves. He was in the middle of a paternity battle over a little foal named Scamp. It turns out Socks isn’t Scamp’s father, but this all-pony Jerry Springer episode doesn’t end there. Further testing found out who the father was, and Socks is reportedly not happy about it — even though he’s a pony.

The real father of Scamp is none other than Socks’ rival Nugget! Despite Socks’ owner doing a solid job of wingmanning for the silver-hoofed celebrity, it looks like Nugget beat him to the punch to impregnate Scamp’s mother Kimberley, who has the least adorable pony name out of all the ponies in this story.

I guess the good news here is that although Socks is disappointed (according to his owner Mari Williamson) that he’s not Scamp’s father, at least now he doesn’t have baby momma drama to deal with, and can continue to dance like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

Dance on, you adorable pony. Dance on. Nugget can only dream of having moves this slick.

(via Metro UK)

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Glen is a comedian, writer, husband, and father. He won his third-grade science fair and is a former preschool science teacher, which is a real job.