I know that The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom will be dangerous. At the very least, I know that I’m going to disappear off the face of the earth starting on May 12, in a way that might threaten my relationships with my partner, friends, workplace, and artistic collaborators. I just didn’t think this danger would start in earnest so soon. I thought I would have a couple of months to put my affairs in order. But then, following yesterday’s Nintendo Direct, the official Japanese Legend of Zelda Twitter dropped some new artwork. If that sounds exciting but safe, you clearly have not feasted your eyes on the new artwork of Link.
This artwork is dangerous. A dangerous thirst trap.
Link is depicted wearing nothing but a wee, simple, cloth tunic. And I do mean wee. My high school explicitly banned bottoms that short. That tunic definitely does not fall “below the hands.” It does … not … fall …
Ahem. The tunic also only falls over the left shoulder, leaving most of Link’s slim yet immaculately toned torso bare for our viewing pleasure. We can see his right arm, which has been corrupted with, one assumes, malice. The arm is new in every way, except for Link’s taught-ass muscles. Meanwhile, the tunic drapes looseāyet fitting, and beckoning.
Link looks at his arm, concerned yet determined. Were that he was to look at me that way! The concern is warranted, for I find myself weak in the knees. His hair? Beautiful, flowing, in a breeze solely made of his passion.
As you might have guessed, I cannot handle this image. If, as Urban Dictionary says, a thirst trap is “sexyĀ photograph … posted on social media for the intent of causing others to publiclyĀ professĀ their attraction,” then I have fallen victim to this thirst trap to the extent that I am writing a freaking article about it.
Fortunately, my partner knows that I have a long-standing attraction to this version of Link. Because we are in an adult relationship with adult understandings of our adult attractions. As a direct sequel, Tears of the Kingdom‘s Link is the exact same Link as Breath of the Wild. And that Link is hot as hell. And he has the confidence in himself to dress up like a woman and look damn good doing so.
It’s not just me who fell victim to Link’s charms back in Breath of the Wild (for example, The Mary Sue’s SEO expert Annie Banks can be credited for the excellent meme above). Link’s hotness was a widely discussed phenomenon. And that will definitely not be changing for Tears of the Kingdom. Especially if Nintendo keeps releasing images like this.
(featured image: Nintendo)
