Man says his mom flew abroad to help with her grandson. Instead, she talked to her boyfriend on the phone 20 times a day and cooked at 4 AM
She came to help with childcare. The boyfriend and kitchen got more attention.
Having a relative volunteer to help with childcare sounds like a welcome offer, especially after moving to another country. One man says his mother’s visit turned out quite differently, starting with a 1 AM airport pickup he had specifically asked her to avoid.
Reddit user Professional-Buy669 said he, his wife, and their child moved to another European country in early 2026. His mother offered to visit for 8 to 10 days, saying she missed her grandson and wanted to help while the couple settled in.
Instead, he claims she spent much of the visit talking to her boyfriend, whom she planned to see in Italy afterward. She also developed a cooking routine that disrupted the household.
His mom allegedly prioritized her boyfriend over helping with childcare
The trouble began before his mother arrived. The family lived about 125 miles from the nearest major airport, and the poster hoped to have found a job by the time his mother arrived. With that in mind, he asked her to avoid booking an extremely late or early flight, preferably choosing a weekend.
She agreed, then purchased a nonrefundable ticket arriving at 1 AM on a weekday. According to her son, it cost roughly €5 less than a flight arriving at a more reasonable hour.
He ultimately borrowed his friend’s car to pick her up. Once she arrived, the Redditor said his mother and her boyfriend spoke on the phone “15–20 times a day.” She reportedly answered his calls during family conversations and even while having dinner with his friends. “Phone rings, she answers, and everyone else effectively stops existing,” he emphasized.
Meanwhile, she took her grandson outside around five times during the visit, at least twice at her son’s request. She also spent considerable time cooking, despite the family’s small apartment and his wife working remotely from the kitchen table.
Then came the 4 AM cooking habit. After returning to her usual sleep schedule, his mother began waking up early and preparing food while everyone else was asleep.
The Redditor eventually asked her to stop out of respect to him and his family. She complied that morning but reportedly still took offense at the request.
Disagreements over respecting someone else’s home have surfaced in other family disputes. In another account, a woman discovered her sister secretly staying in her apartment with her boyfriend after giving her access solely to water plants and collect mail.
She argued that being his mother meant he should tolerate it
Near the end of the visit, the cooking dispute resurfaced. According to the Redditor, his mother argued that she rarely visited and that the family should accommodate her routine.
“She told me she was my mother, so I should be willing to tolerate it,” he wrote. Then he suggested preparing food the night before so she could eat quietly when she woke early. The proposed compromise reportedly made their argument worse.
In a separate disagreement also entailing childcare arrangements, a man refused to cancel his approved vacation after a coworker’s babysitter became unavailable, despite pressure from his manager.
The Redditor’s mother’s departure brought yet another disagreement. He purchased her a bus ticket that appeared to go directly to the airport on departure day, but the route actually ended at a transportation hub requiring a two-stop subway transfer. When she discovered this, she reportedly became angry that he hadn’t borrowed his friend’s car again to drive her to the airport.
Commenters criticized the visit. “Your house, your rules. Easy,” one wrote. Another suggested that his mother stay at a hotel if she visited again.
Asked whether he had reduced contact, the Redditor confirmed that their relationship had cooled. “It’s been a few months since she left,” he replied. “We still talk on the phone occasionally, but there’s definitely a noticeable distance between us now.”
As for the boyfriend who occupied so much of his mother’s attention during the trip, he says she has since blocked him and wants nothing more to do with him.
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