Man Tries to Win Back Ex-Wife by Blowing Her Up, Perfects Art of Doing It Wrong
There’s an old rule of journalism that states, and I’m paraphrasing, “if a dog bites a man it’s not a story, but if a man bites a dog, it is.” This proverb may have found it’s perfect expression (well, short of a man biting a dog, I guess) in a story coming out of Russia this week: While it is not necessarily a story if a man tries to blow up his ex-wife with a bomb, it’s pretty newsworthy if he tries to blow her up with a bomb to win her back. Rarely has an idea on how to do a thing been so perfectly, woefully incorrect.
The man, whose name is not being released, used an anonymous note to lure his ex-wife to a secluded forest with the promise of an envelope that could solve her father’s financial woes. Once she picked it up, though, the man’s homemade bomb detonated, blowing off one of her fingers and breaking several others, along with her wrist.
According to investigators, the man thought that the attack could bring his ex-wife, who divorced him in 2010 for, we assume, being a psycho asshole, back to him “by having her believe that he is her sole protector.” This excuse would be kind of funny if it weren’t a fairly common line of reasoning among pitiful idiot domestic abusers who should spend their worthless lives behind bars. Sometimes, though, all you can do is be glad most of these jagoffs don’t have the know-how to put together explosives.
The ex-husband is now behind bars awaiting trial.