Hey man, I’m looking for a dub. Just something to take the edge off, you know? Something to help me wind down after a long day. Something that will help me just space out and vibe. Do you know where I can find something like that? Oh, you’ve got one? Sweet.
Wait … is that A MARIJUANA?! The devil’s lettuce?! Satan’s succotash?! BEELZEBUB’S BOK CHOY?! WHAT KIND OF GIRL DO YOU TAKE ME FOR!? I AM A CHILD OF GOD.
What I am looking for is a dub of NARUTO SHIPPUDEN. I just learned what “shippuden” means and I am ready to watch the ANIME SERIES. I am even down to watch the FILLER EPISODES. But the only filler that I’m looking for is random beach day arcs, and not your shitty mids filled of stems and seeds! I am looking for WHOLESOME ANIMATED ENTERTAINMENT. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ENTERTAINMENT FOR MY ENDOCANNABINOID SYSTEM. CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THAT OR SHOULD I TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE?
What’s that? Naruto Shippuden IS on Crunchyroll? And it’s dubbed in English?! That’s perfect! And I can watch it with my regular subscription? Even better! I like my rolls to be crunchy. What I DON’T like is rolls that are made of that wacky tabacky paper! Not today, satan! The only blunts I enjoy are the blunt instruments of death that ninjas use to bash their opponents brains in! The only ounce I’m looking to buy is an an ounce of joy from watching Naruto and friends defeat the villainous Akatsuki! The only papers that I want to see rolled are the scrolls used to summon giant toads to the battlefield!
But if you’re selling dimes, I could take that off your hands too … I can’t listen to Naruto whining sober.
(featured image: Pierrot)
