Oh there are plenty of “acts” in Baldur’s Gate 3. A quick look at YouTube will you show you that you can perform all sorts of scintillating deeds on your harem of sexy party members. I’ve seen straight people stuff. Gay people stuff. Lesbian people stuff. Even BESTIALITY kind of stuff. There is NO SHORTAGE of the sexual acts that you can do unto others in this game. Now if you want to know which party member is most DESERVING of your sexual advances then you should consult this guide—
Oh, wait, you meant story acts? What are you, a theatre kid? Who cares about the story? Does anyone watch porn for THE STORY? I think not. But since you asked … Fine, I’ll tell you about the acts in Baldur’s Gate 3.
Setting the stage
For everyone who went to theatre camp, I want you to know that there are THREE acts in Baldur’s Gate 3. You can remember this easily: Baldur’s Gate 3 is the THIRD game in the TRILOGY, and there are THREE ACTS within it. Additionally, you can get to THIRD base with your party members, and if you get with the Warlock Wyll, you’re basically having a threeSOME with him and his infernal patron. You’re not going to forget that now, are you?
But if you want to know what HAPPENS in each of those three acts, here is a spoiler three—I mean—free guide.
Act 1: Get This Gross Lil Dude Out of My Brain
Act One starts starts out with your character getting a gross Mind Flayer tadpole implanted in their brain. Ew! Who’s gonna love you if you’re riddled with parasites? You’ll spend the first act of the game trying to get the little guy off of your mind, literally. Alternatively, you could just let it stay there and get freaky illithid powers in exchange. On top of dealing with your health issues, you and your party spend your time investigating Ketheric Thorm, who is working to serve the dark designs of a mysterious entity known at the Absolute. In the meantime, you can entertain yourself by going out to dinner with the cinnamon roll barbarian tiefling Karlach, killing goblins, and maybe kicking the odd squirrel or two.
Act 2: Grab Life By The Netherstones
Now we’ve gotten to the real MEAT of the sandwich that is Baldur’s Gate 3. In order to progress with the main plot, you and your horny band must seek out three (our fave number!) Netherstones in order to face down the Mind Flayer menace. At this point, you’ve probably been busy trying to get a hold of Astarion’s Netherstones, but all that is gonna change. Granted, you don’t actually HAVE to get all the Netherstones in order to defeat a certain big bad, but if you to face this antagonist without them you will finish the game early … by dying.
But hey! At least you get to see a secret bad ending! Just so you know, this is the biggest act in the entire game. Big open worlds, big dramatic reveals, and big romantic moments. So what are you waiting for? There are friends to make, enemies to kill, and lovers to … you know.
Act 3: Don’t Stop Now, I’m About To Climax
This final act serves as the climax of the game, in which your Baldur’s Gate 3 friends (with benefits) go toe to toe with the final boss(es). As you may have guessed, this act features the most difficult enemies you will face in the game, so make sure that you’ve done plenty of side quests to level up your character! The good news is, Act 3 only takes a few hours to finish. If Acts 1 and 2 were marathons, this one is a sprint.
Didn’t do any side quests? Fear not! While yes, the game does feature missable content, you will also be able to travel back to previously explored places to turn over a few more stones. But be warned, the places you’ve been to previously may have changed depending on the choices you made as you progressed in the story. If you massacred a camp out of pent-up sexual frustration, don’t expect it to be repopulated anytime soon.
(featured image: Larian Studios)
