Rias Gremory from highschool dxd floating with wings
(TNK)

High School DxD Season 5 Is Coming Out And I Still Haven’t Cleaned The Nosebleed Stains Out Of My Couch

Everyone watches High School DxD for the plot right?

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That’s what I thought, at least. I’d never seen it, but I’d heard of it. It seemed like a pretty popular anime. I had some of my friends over to watch the first season. All seven of us crammed together in my living room. We had candy, popcorn, everything you could ever want. I thought it would be a relaxing night in.

Five minutes later, everything was covered in blood.

For those who don’t know, Highschool DxD is an ecchi anime. Ecchi is a Japanese word for “perverted.” It’s not as strong as “hentai” but it’s pretty damn close. Characters in ecchi anime are drawn to be hot, sexually aggressive, and scantily clad. The hapless protagonists who encounter these characters are so overcome by lust that their noses erupt in geysers of blood.

It happened to my friends too. I was the only survivor.

When Is Season 5 Coming Out And Does The W.H.O. Have Time To Come Up With A Plan To Staunch The World’s Bleeding?

Season 5 of High School DxD was slated to come out int 2020, but was delayed by another world health catastrophe: the coronavirus pandemic.

According to Otaku Kart, the the series creator Ichiei Ishibumi has been urging fans to buy copies of his manga in order to help fund Season 5. It’s unclear if he knows the global health-related ramifications of his tweets, but considering he wrote the damn thing in the first place, I’m not sure he cares. Thankfully, there has been no official announcement concerning the release of Season 5, giving the W.H.O. just enough to pull its head out of its ass and formulate a plan to combat what could be the biggest nosebleed pandemic the world has ever known.

Who Are The Actors Responsible For Giving Voice To These Dangerous Characters?

It is not known if the cast of High School DxD will reprise their roles for Season 5, but if they are, I ask them to first consider the ethical ramifications of such an action. Hasn’t the world already suffered enough? I will attempt to reach out on behalf of the Surgeon General and the mothers of my dearly departed friends, but I may not be able to get through.

If you know any of these people, please say something before it is too late.

  • Jamie Marchi/Youko Hikasa – Rias Gremory
  • Scott Freeman/Yūki Kaji – Issei Hyōudōu
  • Chloe Daniels/Azumi Asakura – Asia Argento
  • Chris Smith/Takehito Koyasu – Riser Phenex
  • Christopher R. Sabat/ Fumihiko Tachiki – Sacred Gear/Ddraig
  • Felecia Angelle/Hitome Nabatame – Reynalle/Yūma Amano
  • Jād Saxton/Ayana Taketasu – Koneko Tōjō
  • Krishna Smitha/Saori Seto- Grayfia Lucifuge
  • Sean O’Connor/Kenji Nojima- Yūto Kiba
  • Teri Rogers/Shizuka Itō – Akeno Himejima

What Is The Plot Of Season 5?

Highschool DxD is a show about a perverted young boy named Issei who dreams of becoming a Harem King. What does that mean? He basically wants a polygamous relationship with a bunch of women without actually marrying any of them. Gross. However, his plan goes to shit when he’s killed by a fallen angel on their first date. He is resurrected by a devil named Rias Gremory. Also known as The Woman For Whom My Friends Died.

The anime has been following the original light novels pretty closely. Season 4 followed volumes 9 and 10. Issie battled against Sairong by using his new Cardinal Crimson Promotion power-up for his Scale Mail. He also had his first kiss with Rias Gremory. It was surprisingly sweet and not nearly as lewd as I thought it would be.

Season 5 will likely follow the plot of volumes 11 and 12. What does that mean for Issei? Tests. Specifically the Middle-Class Promotion test. If he passes, his Devil rank will just barely pass above low class. But we already knew he didn’t have much class anyway, so this isn’t surprising. He’s also gonna have to worry about the demonic catgirl Koneko, who will soon figure out that he and Rias have been spending a lot of time together. She won’t be happy about it.

Is There A Trailer I Can Watch For *Ahem* Research Purposes?

Currently there isn’t a trailer for Season 5, and that’s a good thing. We can’t have lewdness like this affecting the nasal health of the world at large. If you want to see more High School DxD, you’re gonna have to find it on streaming services and watch it alone in the dark, just like everyone else does. Just please be careful. We can’t afford to lose another one.

(Featured Image: TNK)


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Author
Jack Doyle
Jack Doyle (they/them) is actually nine choirs of biblically accurate angels crammed into one pair of $10 overalls. They have been writing articles for nerds on the internet for less than a year now. They really like anime. Like... REALLY like it. Like you know those annoying little kids that will only eat hotdogs and chicken fingers? They're like that... but with anime. It's starting to get sad.