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The Discovery Of The Century: Chemists Create Chocolate With Half The Fat

The Future Is Now!

Good news everyone! We don’t have to fear haters snapping their head back Exorcist-style to judge our dietary choices when we reach for a chocolate bar in public anymore! Scientists have discovered a way to cut the fat in chocolate by half through the use of fruit juice. Finally, an adequate solution to the eternal, seemingly unsolvable equation: “Chocolate + ? = Cellulite-less thighs.” Science strikes again, ladies!

Business Insider reports the process involves creating a “Pickering emulsion” synthesis to infuse micro-bubbles of fruit juice into chocolate, replacing the fat and retaining the “the silky smooth,” yet snappy texture of chocolate. Of course, the fruit juice ends up leaving an aftertaste, so researchers suggesting adding a Vitamin C solution to to nullify any lingering fruity flavors.

According to study researcher Stefan Bon, this is “just the starting point to healthier chocolate – we’ve established the chemistry behind this new technique but now we’re hoping the food industry will take our method to make tasty, lower-fat chocolate bars.” After all, “everyone loves chocolate – but unfortunately we all know that many chocolate bars are high in fat.”

Sarcasm aside, what bothers me about innovations like this is that it inevitably leads to a convoluted, shifting, and extraordinarily false dichotomy between the new option and the old option, and the resulting opinions often carry over to the person choosing between both products. I say this as a fat woman very experienced in the realm of dieting and being policed publicly for food choices — if you don’t drink diet soda, you’re not a hip weight-conscious 20-something, if you do, you’re ruining your metabolism/giving yourself cancer/giving into Big Business. Applied to this newfangled fruit juice chocolate, I imagine it would look something like this: “Oh, you’re eating that diet chocolate? Shouldn’t you be eating quinoa/a morsel of Fair Trade Organic 99% dark chocolate/nothing instead?” and “Oh, you’re eating regular chocolate? Shouldn’t you be eating fruit juice chocolate instead?” Can’t we ever win?

Perhaps my bitter switch has been flicked on for eternity, but I just don’t think fruit juice and ascorbic acid chocolate will improve the lives of weight-conscious chocoholics, mostly because eating chocolate while having cellulite is always seen negatively, no matter what kind of chocolate it is. To that end, maybe we could leave the delicious treat that’s been around for 3000 years alone. Or, we could even keep this science!chocolate around– let’s just work on not making ourselves and each other feel like shit for eating as much or as little of it as we want.

(via CNN and Business Insider.)

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