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Elderly Robber Caught by Officers After Moving Too Slow With His Getaway Walker

See, this is why you need to hire Ryan Gosling to steer the walker for you.

old man walker

When times are tough, it’s the eldest generation who often has the most difficulties — after all, it’s hard enough paying for medical bills on a fixed income as it is. So really, why is it that more old people don’t resort to crime as a way to settle their debts and live comfortably? That’s probably what the man who robbed a woman at knifepoint in Australia thought to himself. You know, right before he was arrested while slowly loading his walker frame into the backseat of the car he’d just stolen. You can’t factor in all the variables for this kind of thing beforehand, I guess.

At 64-years-old, this particular robber wasn’t exactly comically old or anything, which is probably how he was able to successfully threaten a 22-year-old woman in a parking lot near Melbourne. Australians know not mess with other Austrians wielding knives, of course, so she gave up the car and he drove it a short distance away to load it up with bags. Wait, did he just steal a car so he could use it to drive his groceries home? Because I’m pretty sure you can get kids to do that for you for free.

The guy was still packing the car full of his belongings, including the walker frame, when the police arrived on the scene. He was arrested and charged with armed robbery for the crime. When asked by the local press, Senior Constable Paul Mitchell said it was “the most bizarre incident” he’d ever seen while on the force. Watch, tomorrow he’s going to get called in to arrest a shoplifting wallaby or something. Don’t tempt the universe like that, man.

(via Orange, image via Michael Coghlan)

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