Kiki Lying On Grass

Dionne Warwick and Lynda Carter Team Up To Teach Us How to Log Off of Twitter

You can do it!

Dionne Warwick and Lynda Carter, arguably the two best human beings on Twitter, have joined forces to teach all of us frazzled social media users how to stop bullying each other, close the app, and touch grass.

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In a video posted jointly yesterday on Twitter, Warwick, one of the greatest vocalists of all time, and Carter, who’s beloved for her portrayal of Wonder Woman in the ’70s, give us detailed instructions on how to stop making each other miserable for no reason and heal ourselves with some cool, sweet turf.

The video starts with Warwick talking about the “ugly stuff” she’s seen in the “season finale of Twitter,” including bullying. It then cuts to Carter, who gives us a hands-on demonstration of how to turn off our phones, close our laptops, and touch some god-forsaken grass.

Carter even has a backup plan for those of us who don’t have access to grass. We can get a little patch of astroturf and touch that, instead.

Why do we all need to touch grass?

Look, things are ugly these days. Twitter is falling apart before our eyes, Donald Trump is running for president again, layoffs are skyrocketing, housing is unaffordable, and climate change is baking us alive. Who wouldn’t be stressed out?

The problem, though, is that social media makes it all too easy for us to take out our anger on each other. The wealthy oligarchs literally destroying the world may be out of reach, but that person over there who likes a thing you don’t like? TEAR THEM APART!

Remember, for instance, this poor woman who posted about a nice morning routine she gets to have with her husband, and then got laid into by a rabid mob? Because apparently no one on earth works later in the day, and someone having one good thing in their life makes them an enemy of the proletariat?

Seriously, Warwick and Carter are right—we’re quite possibly experiencing the twilight of Twitter, so why make it so horrible for people? Why weaponize social justice language to rationalize bullying people? Why attack people for things that you would never dream of criticizing in real life? Just stop it. Log off. Relax. Touch grass. You can do it. Dionne and Lynda believe in you.

(featured image: Studio Ghibli)


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Author
Julia Glassman
Julia Glassman (she/her) holds an MFA from the Iowa Writers' Workshop, and has been covering feminism and media since 2007. As a staff writer for The Mary Sue, Julia covers Marvel movies, folk horror, sci fi and fantasy, film and TV, comics, and all things witchy. Under the pen name Asa West, she's the author of the popular zine 'Five Principles of Green Witchcraft' (Gods & Radicals Press). You can check out more of her writing at <a href="https://juliaglassman.carrd.co/">https://juliaglassman.carrd.co/.</a>