Please do not watch the Batman v Superman teaser trailer teaser. We implore you.
There’s now quite literally a teaser trailer trailer for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice on Zack Snyder’s Twitter—or a trailer teaser trailer? Teaser trailer teaser? However you want to rearrange it, we are now officially up to no fewer than three words denoting that this clip is meant to get you ready to watch a clip to get you ready to watch a clip to get you ready to watch—wait, how many is that? TOO MANY.
Then, as a reward for the veritable kick in the pants of thinking you’re getting some hot Batman on Superman action and instead sitting through a dramatic reveal of two empty superhero suits we’ve already seen and made memes of—BUT IN COLOR THIS TIME!—you can fill out a form to get on a wait list to get tickets to see the actual teaser trailer (just two levels of movie removal this time) in IMAX like it’s its own flipping movie.
And on top of all that… shit, you stopped reading and went to go find it and watch it already, didn’t you? Then you tried to get IMAX tickets. It’s OK. I don’t blame you. Just know that you’ve ruined all that is good in the world with your need to know.
Now for Captain America: Civil War, we’ll all have to travel to Disney World to watch the trailer. And Infinity War isn’t actually about the infinity gauntlet or even an actual movie. They’re just canning feature-length Avengers movies altogether and switching over to an all-teaser trailer format to tell the story—infinity of them. Forever.
And the Justice League teaser trailer teaser trailer trailer teaser teaser will be part of a global scavenger hunt with each successive trailer saved on an iPad and buried in a random location around the world. ALL BECAUSE YOU WATCHED THE BATMAN v SUPERMAN TEASER TRAILER TRAILER.
I hope it was worth it.
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