comScore The Air Force Thinks It Could Take on Godzilla With Its Guns | The Mary Sue

The Air Force Thinks It Could Totally Take Godzilla, Because Guns?

If only anyone had ever tried that plan before...

The military sure likes to awkwardly shoehorn its way into conversations about pop culture, huh? Well, they’re not missing a chance with the new Godzilla on the horizon, and the Air Force has all kinds of plans for how to deal with a Godzilla disaster. Here, let them tell you about what guns they’d use. On Godzilla.

Yes, yes, I know they’re just joking (I think), but it’s still entertaining to watch real members of the military talk about how their guns “have to do something” against a monster who feeds off of radiation and is notorious for not giving a crap about being shot. This right here is why he keeps stomping all over us in the movies. All we want to do is sit around talking about who’s got the bigger gun.

Although, bonus points to MSgt. Jason Edwards for his brilliant, GOB Bluth-approved plan to confuse Godzilla by attacking with slingshots mounted on Segways. I mean, we’re screwed anyway if Godzilla shows up, so Segways and slingshots are pretty much as good of a plan as the other guy’s “a bunch of fighter planes and some very big guns.” You think that’s going to have any effect on the guy in the big rubber suit? Come on!

Maybe the “Godzilla Methodology” by James Butler, professor at the U.S. Naval War College, would be more effective? If only there were some kind of metaphor we could use to highlight the hubris of mankind in believing it can control nature…

(Air & Space via Gizmodo, image via Air & Space)

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Dan is a video game modding hobbyist and secret ninja who lives in North Carolina with his wife, Lisa Brown, and his dog, Liz Lemon, both of whom are the best.