‘Signs He Might Kill You’: A Former Prosecutor Tells Women How to Spot Dangerous Men
In a world where domestic violence takes many forms, knowing about the early warning signs could save lives. Shab (@unclockedin_), a former domestic violence prosecutor, mentioned several dangerous red flags that she believes women should watch out for in a man.
The ex-prosecutor believes that if a man exhibits any of these signs, he might kill his romantic partner. Although these are opinions from Shab, she also mentioned anecdotes from her time in court.
Hitting their partner
“If he’s hit you in the past—if he’s gotten physically violent with you in the past, he is not likely going to stop. He might kill you,” Shab stated. According to a paper published by the National Library of Medicine, perpetrators of domestic violence commonly repeat acts of violence even with their new partners. As the popular saying goes, if a man hits his partner once, he can do it again.
Shab also mentioned strangulation in particular. If a man strangles his intimate partner, she may also be at risk of being killed by the man.
Isolation from support group
“If he isolates you from your friends and family and is weirdly jealous of your relationship with your friends and family and even your pets? He might kill you during an argument,” Shab said. One woman who alleged that her husband isolated her recalled how she had to escape in a getaway car with her children and stay in hiding for days.
But Shab also adds that if a man prevents a woman from leaving a room during an argument or stops her from calling for help from emergency services and the like, these behaviors are also counted as dangerous.
Scaring their partner
“If you’re in the car with him and he’s driving incredibly recklessly just to scare you and put your life in danger, he might kill you,” Shab warned. She also said that if a man “jokes” about killing their partner, it should also be taken as a warning sign.
“No normal person has that at the tip of their tongue,” she argued.
Controlling behavior
“If he makes you financially dependent on him but takes away some of your needs, like food, shelter, water, [and] sleep, he might kill you,” Shab stated. She also included stalking as a warning, which is yet another sign of asserting excessive control over their partner.
Vandalizing property
“If he begins to vandalize your property, like he flies off the handle and just tears up your apartment or just tears up your car? He might kill you,” Shab said. She didn’t elaborate further, but the act shows an inherent lack of respect for their partner’s hard-earned property.
Threatening to take their life
“If he threatens suicide as a manipulation tactic to keep you in the relationship, that man is not stable,” Shab said. One woman who claimed to have experienced such a tactic had experienced a long, drawn-out divorce.
Unreasonable jealousy is dangerous
Shab said that if a man were prone to extreme and unreasonable jealousy, he might kill his partner. She recalled a case from early in her career, back when she was still working as a defense attorney before later becoming a prosecutor. It was about a couple who had gone to a tattoo parlor.
The woman was getting her tattoo done by a male artist. Then, her boyfriend started getting jealous.
“He thought she was flirting with the guy,” Shab said. The man got her into the car, and on their drive home, he started driving on the freeway for more than a hundred miles an hour. Shab alleged that during the car ride, he started stabbing his girlfriend. Although the woman was able to jump out, Shab said that the victim “didn’t make it.”
Another author who specializes in domestic violence had given a similar opinion. It’s not just the physically abusive men to watch out for, but also those who treat their partners as property.
(featured images: unclockedin_)
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