Editor’s Note: Amanda’s mom told us that she’d make sure her daughter delivered her Hannibal commentary by Monday every week. So far, she has been honoring her deadline with the zeal and fervor one usually reserves for the Lord of Light. Of course, once this week’s episode of Game of Thrones aired, Amanda ceased productivity to text us for the following fourteen hours (“You saw it, too, right? It actually happened?” “IT CAME TRUE!!!” “I CAN’T STOP DANCING!” “LOLOL :D :D :D X 4VAR!!!!!”). And so her drawing was late this week. All is right with the world.
Also, there are spoilers in this post. We probably should have started saying that from the beginning. Sorry.
I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this season of Hannibal if my favorite characters keep dying. First we lost Dr. Beverly Katz (*pours one out*), and in this episode Dr. Abel Gideon shuffled loose the mortal coil (he died as he lived: deliciously). And Chilton? Smarmy, snarky Dr. Frederick Chilton whom I was just coming to appreciate? He got shot in the face. Don’t ever go to medical school or earn a degree higher than a BFA if you’re a character on Hannibal. The higher education is a death wish on this show.
The minute I get invested in any character on Hannibal, they become fancy lunch meat. My soul fears for the welfare of Brian and Jimmy (ForensicBros). My safest bet is to stop liking or relating to any of the characters so I won’t be disappointed when they are killed off. Just to be safe, I am going to extend this practice to the rest of my life. My family, my boyfriend, my cat: They’re all just background noise now. Each and everyone one of them slowly marching towards a cold, merciless end. No love, no force of justice can save them, or anyone else for that matter. Remember kids: Never love anyone or anything ever. It will spare your heart the burning sting of loss.
But, wait…what are these cryptic words from show runner Bryan Fuller? “Serpico survived a bullet to the face”? Does that mean that Chilton is alive? I guess that makes sense. We all thought Miriam Lass was dead but she showed up just last week, shy one arm but otherwise intact. And I thought Abel Gideon had died at least twice before he actually died this week (the first time he was shot by Will Graham, the second time he was thrown from the top of a staircase). Wait a minute! What if Gideon isn’t dead, either? What if he’s just faking it like he did that one time he killed that nurse? What if Lecter injected him with a syringe of… magic life-giving juice? That stuff that he shot into Bella? He could do that. He’s a doctor.
Hang on, WHAT IF NO ONE IS DEAD? Like, what if Abigail is hooked up to a series of machines that keep her vitals going and Beverly’s consciousness has been uploaded into a computer? WHAT IF THEY’RE BOTH CYBORGS??? Yes! This is finally starting to make sense! I can work with this! Any character that I liked that has been “officially” killed off is actually a member of Hannibal Lecter’s secret robot army! They’re alive! They’re all alive! Everything is going to be okay! I can love again! We’re all going to live forever! Take us home, Chilton!
Amanda LaPergola is a New York-based actor and writer. She still can’t get over this week’s Game of Thrones. Holy crap, that was so satisfying. She tweets @LaPergs. Her previous Hannibal illustrations can be found here.